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  #461  
Old 12-27-2018, 01:49 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Some woman this morning was so impressed with my driving, that she got next to me just to show me she was not wearing a ring.

Thanks hun, but it's the wrong finger!
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  #462  
Old 12-27-2018, 01:51 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.

"The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father.

"I know he's not cheating on his exams."
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  #463  
Old 12-29-2018, 07:35 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Today I called an old Coast Guard buddy and asked what was he doing.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-Thermal Treatment of Ceramics, Aluminum, and Steel under a Constrained Environment."
I was impressed.
Until I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water, under his wife's supervision.
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  #464  
Old 12-29-2018, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Hahahaha

Canadian eh!!!
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  #465  
Old 12-29-2018, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Teacher: what comes after 69?

Student: mouthwash

Teacher: get out!

Canadian eh!!!
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  #466  
Old 12-30-2018, 08:00 AM
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  #467  
Old 12-30-2018, 01:57 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I was laying in bed last night when my wife told me to make her scream with just one finger. So I poked her in the eye.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #468  
Old 12-30-2018, 02:30 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

When your wife says "Correct me if I'm wrong", don't....I mean.....DON'T do it. It's a trap!

Canadian eh!!!
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  #469  
Old 12-31-2018, 07:58 PM
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  #470  
Old 01-02-2019, 12:46 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_girl View Post
I just love good puns. Thanks!
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  #471  
Old 01-04-2019, 11:39 AM
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  #472  
Old 01-05-2019, 09:10 PM
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  #473  
Old 01-06-2019, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
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  #474  
Old 01-08-2019, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My Stoner friend lost his job at the cemetery today because he buried someone in the wrong hole.

It was a grave mistake!
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  #475  
Old 01-08-2019, 08:25 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Lately, the way my luck is going,

I'll probably be reincarnated as me.
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  #476  
Old 01-09-2019, 08:48 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I thought I would turn veagan but realized that would be a missed steak.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #477  
Old 01-11-2019, 01:00 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I paid for a 12 month gym membership. My credit card company called to ask if it was stolen.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #478  
Old 01-17-2019, 08:21 PM
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  #479  
Old 01-19-2019, 12:12 PM
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  #480  
Old 01-23-2019, 06:34 PM
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