Large business, owner's wife, top employee and a taser

Oh man, you can't make this stuff up! Part of my job is to recruit and retain top employees for my business clients. As many of you know, many of the very top producers are, um, high maintenance so to speak. Well, at one of my larger accounts I have an employee placed who is an absolute animal in sales and makes the business owner a fortune. However, I basically manage this person for my client. The employee I speak of is actually a very religious guy and wouldn't ever cheat, steal, or cause any problem with a customer, but he is a bit high strung. So far I've kept him in place for nearly 7 years with this employer. Now this...

Again, you can't make this stuff up. The business owner and his wife decided to take, um, let's call him "Mike" (not his real name) out for drinks for a very successful January. After a couple of bars and several shots, all are rather intoxicated. For reasons unknown, "Mike" decides to show off the new taser he bought for his wife M18L. I know what you're thinking, but it's worse.

In his intoxicated state, Mike decides to show how his cool new taser has a laser built in. He brings it out and starts shining the laser around. Now, get this, the owner's wife says "stop that" and tries to push Mike's hand down that is holding the taser. Somehow he pulls the trigger and tasers the owner's wife!!! Even worse, he pulls back on the taser (holding down on the trigger) trying to pull the probes out of her leg! Holy crap!!

By now she's off her bar stool and break dancing on the floor and screaming. In the mean time the bar tender is coming over the bar with a club and the business owner is screaming as well along with his wife and "Mike". Oh man, what a scene!!

They finally get him to let off the damn trigger and all three get thrown out of the bar. As I understand, the business owner's wife still isn't all the way there but realizes that she no longer needs to use the restroom; if you know what I mean. So, they part company for the evening and I get numerous drunken, panicked messages from Mike on my cell phone.

So, tell me, what do I do now?

hmmm I don't know, maybe try to get the guy a job with a taser company ........ahh nevermind. Guess that wouldn't help either.

Dargo said:

So, tell me, what do I do now?

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Be happy that "Mike" didn't buy his wife a gun

Oh no, "Mike" just called me again. Now he says that he wants to send the owner's wife some flowers and give her one of the expensive tasers as a gift.

Man, is it just me, or do you think it would be wrong to try to give her a taser right after you fried the crap out of her with one? Feeling really bad, "Mike" said he didn't care if she used the new taser on him. Still, I think the idea of a gift taser for her is a bad idea.

B_Skurka said:

Be happy that "Mike" didn't buy his wife a gun

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He did! I guess it's just fortunate it doesn't have one of those pretty laser lights on it. He bought her that Warthog I mentioned a day or so ago!

I find it interesting that the owner has called you to say that Mike is toast.... You think he convinced his wife that Mike was responsible for the Bling around her neck? Seems sure that if he stays they'll just send HIM flowers for a job well done. Oh. and BTW....you might want to suggest to Mike that he switch to a less influential beverage...


Oh, and as far as what YOU do.....run away...far, far away...


Brent, I'm sorry for your luck but am greatful for the belly laugh.

Sending flowers would be good. Sending a taser would be bad. As for the Warthog, have a serious chat with him about it, then offer to take it off his hands for 1/2 what he paid for it and make it sound like you are saving the life of someone he loves!

After all sober up......agree to let him keep working, bringing in the $$$$$$$, but DO NOT CELEBRATE TOGETHER again!!!


BTW, Thanks for the laugh!!!

Some one broke a cardinal rule of good business sense. As a prior business owner at any celebration involving employees and alcohol, I would not drink alcoholic beverages. This will normally keep the consumption of such to a minimum with most employees and prevent such problems. Also spending only the absolute necessary time outside of business associating with employees prevents many similar situations and problems from happening.

Dargo, you should re-write your handbook on employees/business clients and highly suggest or imply they do not mix business and pleasure. It would make your life simpler and much less stressful.

mtntopper said:

Some one broke a cardinal rule of good business sense. As a prior business owner at any celebration involving employees and alcohol, I would not drink alcoholic beverages. This will normally keep the consumption of such to a minimum with most employees and prevent such problems. Also spending only the absolute necessary time outside of business associating with employees prevents many similar situations and problems from happening.

Dargo, you should re-write your handbook on employees/business clients and highly suggest or imply they do not mix business and pleasure. It would make your life simpler and much less stressful.

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Agree 100%, but then sometimes that doesn't even work, because when the rules are broken, it can be too late.

Common sense comes to mind.

If it makes you feel any better, a couple of years ago I was on a cruise given to me by my company for performance. Owner of my company along with VP of sales was at the same dinner table with me and another guy from N.Y. (who was my counterpart in sales). Guy from N.Y showed up for dinner late, and was pretty far wasted to begin with. He was loud and it was getting worse. He then excuses himself to go to the bathroom, then comes back with toilet paper wrapped around his entire forehead with holes cut out for his eyes. He then tells us that he is "Zoro, the masked salesman". That guy somehow stayed with us for another two years.

Dargo said:

Oh no, "Mike" just called me again. Now he says that he wants to send the owner's wife some flowers and give her one of the expensive tasers as a gift.

Man, is it just me, or do you think it would be wrong to try to give her a taser right after you fried the crap out of her with one? Feeling really bad, "Mike" said he didn't care if she used the new taser on him. Still, I think the idea of a gift taser for her is a bad idea.

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I'm thinking he should send the wife flowers while you should send the owner Mike's taser (the exact taser in question) disarming him of said item, and letting the owner decide whether they'd rather use it, frame it, or destroy it.

dzalphakilo said:

Agree 100%, but then sometimes that doesn't even work, because when the rules are broken, it can be too late.

Common sense comes to mind.

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Common sense can not be taught to some people. I am sure it is a learned trait that some will gain and some will never even recognize it if it hit them between the eyes like a brick.

If I was in a situation as you explained, I would excuse my self to go to the boys room and not return to the drunk and his antics. There are many ways to avoid situations and common sense should prevail.

For some reason I walk when I encounter that sort of supersalesman.

At most I might ask him to cut the bs and tell me how much to write the check for without entertaining me with his usual patter, so that I have a number to compare other dealers against. Sometimes SuperSalesman has the best price, sometimes you are being asked to pay more in exchange for flattery and entertainment.

I went to look at a Toyota pickup once and it was Gorgeous Girl's turn to face the next customer. I got a 'final' price from her surprisingly quickly but then she came back and said I would have to pay more, her manager wouldn't back her. I walked, her peers laughed at her and jeered as she followed me back to my car, she was sobbing as I drove away. Tough luck, lady. I'm shopping for a price on a car, not entertainment.

Ok. I got one hell of a good laugh out of this thread. There are lines of common sense that we all must know. I travel fairly frequently for my company including alone, with a co-worker or two and often with the President (my boss) himself. We always make time for beer while we are gone. The boss is diabetic so he will drink his one with dinner and that's it. I typically have 2, but I limit it for sure. We do not have any drunkfests for sure. One other guy I travel with... he rat holes money just for those trips. He's old enough to be my Dad, but we have a GOOD time while gone. He brings enough cash to get us good an liquored up while we are gone. I have a friend that cannot believe I don't get liquored up all the time and expense it out. I guess it's because it's a moral thing to me and I don't feel compelled to make the company pay for me to get drunk in the evenings even though I am gone on business for them. Again.. I would never go to the lengths that this guy did.

Dargo said:

... So, tell me, what do I do now?

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Don't answer the phone for at least a week.

You aren't responsible for this mess so far. All the shots are going to be called by Wife until she calms down. Boss, Mike, and you, if you are onstage, are powerless to affect what punishment she chooses.

Any update yet?



Good luck.

California said:

Any update yet?



Good luck.

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Would you count 16 missed calls from "Mike" so far today?

I'm punishing him in my own way.

Good defensive strategy.

Let Mike stew for another week at least!

You don't want to get dragged onstage. There's no possible advantage, and a lot of downside. You aren't his Mommy who could make it all better.

I can just see you, letting the phone ring on and on, and grinning.

OK, so what WAS the final outcome on this? or is there one yet?...

rback33 said:

OK, so what WAS the final outcome on this? or is there one yet?...

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Ha! I was invited in yesterday for this manager's quarterly review with the business owner. Wee, what fun we were having. The owner wasn't exactly sure how to put a note in his employee file about tasering his wife while they were all drunk at a bar.

So, the employer began a discussion about how he is considering a ban on any firearms on his property due to this incident. I explained that I wasn't quite sure that I was following his line of thought. First, the incident didn't happen on his property. Second, if it were a firearm, his wife may have been killed; but more likely the manager wouldn't have been showing his new loaded pistol to people in a bar.

Maybe he should make a rule that bans getting drunk with his employees?

I just looked and I haven't mentioned the name of this business. I say this because this business owner opted to not have random drug testing when he learned that he too would be subject to random drug testing. Hmm, think about that one...

Dargo said:

the employer began a discussion about how he is considering a ban on any firearms on his property

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But then how would all the good sane carrying people protect themselves from some crazed lunatic with a gun? Especially if the crazed lunatic is their manager?

Sounds like Washington DC to me.

What does the owner have to fear, if everyone is armed. I though that promoted civility.

Is he becoming a gun control advocate after this one little mistake?

Dargo said:

I just looked and I haven't mentioned the name of this business. I say this because this business owner opted to not have random drug testing when he learned that he too would be subject to random drug testing. Hmm, think about that one...

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Surprized he can't make the call himiself on who is eligible for the random drug test.