• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

Getting old in Arizona

Lenny

Well-known member
SUPER Site Supporter
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Tucson, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

*************************************************

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Phoenix reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.

*************************************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes, an Arizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife..'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

*************************************************

A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

*************************************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Gilbert , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
 
Top