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My wife just pissed me off!

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
Damn It ! I raised her better than this !!!

The woman can take a cow turd and a cardboard box and come out of the kitchen with a perfectly boxed Chocolate cake made from it ! Her cooking talents are incredible .

So ... everybody here by now, knows I have changed my eating habits and its finally making a change in my waistline and my overall mentality .

So I really like my Corn Flakes and milk in my little bowl every other morning . I look forward to it . The crunchy little corn flakes makes my mouth happy . Today is my day to get my corn flakes .


What do I get ? Corn Flakes with "Skinny Cow Milk "!!!!!!!!! WTF ! I don't like skinny cows or their milk ! They are unhealthy beady eyed little animals that will kick you given the chance . I like my corn flakes with the really "Fit cow milk " The milk that comes from cows who work out . You may know it as 2% milk . I don't like milk from fat cows that sit around all day and watch Ohpra while waiting for the farmer to feed them .

Skinny cow milk will ruin the crunchy texture of Corn Flakes before you can even say corn flakes . Now I got this white chalk looking runny stuff all over my corn flakes ,which are now soggy and I ain't eaten it !

I informed her nicely that I don't eat Runny skinny cow milk corn flakes and to get her butt back in the kitchen a make me some decent Fit cow milk corn flakes .

Now I gotta go take a shower cause I got Runny cow milk and soggy corn flakes all in my hair .:sad:

Women !

So with my wifes help I have changed my mind . I'm just having coffee this morning.
 

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
My suggestion is that you go back in there and apologize to her. She is only doing what is best for you.:hammer::hammer::hammer: She loves you don't you know. Now get back in there :hide:
 

XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

Master of Distraction
Staff member
SUPER Site Supporter
Ha, I like whole milk on my Fibre One and Grape Nuts in the morning. I figure the unhealthyness of one cancels out the healthyness of the other and I break even. Of course, I only get whole milk when I go to the store and buy it myself. ;)
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
My suggestion is that you go back in there and apologize to her. She is only doing what is best for you.:hammer::hammer::hammer: She loves you don't you know. Now get back in there :hide:

Real men never apologize for hating skinny cow milk .....never . I am standing up for men everywhere by making my stand against it !

She makes me really mad and I may skip my 10 oclock snack too , just to prove my point !

Hmmm it's after 10 ...... I wonder where my snack is:sad: ........
 

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
Ha, I like whole milk on my Fibre One and Grape Nuts in the morning. I figure the unhealthyness of one cancels out the healthyness of the other and I break even. Of course, I only get whole milk when I go to the store and buy it myself. ;)


I can't even do that anymore cause I will get chewed out if I bring the whole stuff home. Growing up on the farm we took it right out of the bulk tank. You made sure every morning you mixed it up before drinking it or you would get cream. I miss it though
 

DaveNay

Klaatu barada nikto
SUPER Site Supporter
We only have whole milk and real butter in the house. Scum milk and margarine are for those California fruit and nut freaks.
 

REDDOGTWO

Unemployed Veg. Peddler
SUPER Site Supporter
My question is if you buy the milk and never see the cow how do you know if the cow was skinny or not?
 

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
Real men never apologize for hating skinny cow milk .....never . I am standing up for men everywhere by making my stand against it !

She really makes me really mad and I may skip my 10 oclock snack too , just to prove my point !

Hmmm it after 10 ...... I wonder where my snack is:sad: ........


I did not ask you to apologize for hating skinny milk. I ask you to apologize for being an ass to your wife. :hide: (this is where I get in a lot of trouble :yum:)

Your ten O clock snack is missing for a reason :hide:
 

REDDOGTWO

Unemployed Veg. Peddler
SUPER Site Supporter
We only have whole milk and real butter in the house. Scum milk and margarine are for those California fruit and nut freaks.

After much education from my kids, when I buy the groceries it is light margarine and skim milk. After a few years, the real thing tastes funny.:whistling:
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
My question is if you buy the milk and never see the cow how do you know if the cow was skinny or not?

Well its damn obvious you have never seen Skinny cow milk . Filthy stuff not fit for human consuption . I never knew anybody that lasted longer than a few weeks from drinking the stuff . Turns into straight diaherria and you just crap yourself to death . Terrible way to die .
 

DaveNay

Klaatu barada nikto
SUPER Site Supporter
After much education from my kids, when I buy the groceries it is light margarine and skim milk. After a few years, the real thing tastes funny.:whistling:

Did you know that if you leave a tub of margarine out in the woods, the wild animals and insects won't eat it? :unsure:
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
I did not ask you to apologize for hating skinny milk. I ask you to apologize for being an ass to your wife. :hide: (this is where I get in a lot of trouble :yum:)
I'm making a stand here . Your just henpecked because your stuck in God Knows where with your inlaws until the spring thaw

. MAN UP for Gods sake ... your embarassing yourself .

Your ten O clock snack is missing for a reason :hide:

I was wondering about that too . I hope she didn't fall down or something while she was making it for me .......maybe I better go look later ...:wink:
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
Did you know that if you leave a tub of margarine out in the woods, the wild animals and insects won't eat it? :unsure:
Who you calling a Wild Animal or a insect ? I represent that and don't call you names .
 

Cowboyjg

Country Club Member
Site Supporter
Grape Nuts, a couple of sliced bananas and ice cold whole milk. Wash it down with a pot of hot black coffee. :thumb:


Gotta go with Dave on this. I don't care what anyone else in the house wants....It's whole or nothing.
 

norscaner

Active member
Did you know that if you leave a tub of margarine out in the woods, the wild animals and insects won't eat it? :unsure:


This is why I drink 2% and only use butter......truth be known I would only use whole milk but the boss uses skim so we came to an agreement on 2% although sometimes I think she waters it down.:unsure:
 

muleman

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
After fighting for a few weeks we have settled on 2%. That skim milk is so shitty the cats wont even drink it. They brought me skim milk in the hospital and I bitched to the heart doc till they changed it to 2%. I would sooner use water than skim milk. I used to get whole milk from the milk tank at the neighbors and pay him $3 a gallon so he had some pocket money the wife did not know about. He used it for hunting stuff but I can't help him out anymore.
 

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
I was wondering about that too . I hope she didn't fall down or something while she was making it for me .......maybe I better go look later ...:wink:


Al I am actually just fine here. I have internet, we spent most of the morning digging everything out and my brother in law is still out there with the tractor moving snow but all vehicles are movable. The roads for the most part the farmers plow themselves as there is no plows on the back roads yet. I am manning it just fine.
 

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
Oh and one other thing Al, I have had sausage and waffles for breakfast and my wife just brought me two fresh ham sandwiches. The ham was just taken out of the oven. :moon:
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
Al I am actually just fine here. I have internet, we spent most of the morning digging everything out and my brother in law is still out there with the tractor moving snow but all vehicles are movable. The roads for the most part the farmers plow themselves as there is no plows on the back roads yet. I am manning it just fine.

Well it damn obvious you did not have skinny cow soggy corn flakes for breakfast before you headed out to move snow .

Thank you for making my point . A man cannot eat skinny milk soggy cornflakes and move snow .

You be careful out there !

Edit : I just saw your last post .LOL Boy am I good !
 
Last edited:

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
My wife got me my 2 eggs over easy, sausage, hashbrowns, toast and coffee this morning.:smile:
















Then I woke up, drug my a$$ outa bed, went upstairs and poured myself a bowl of corn flakes.
 

muleman

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
That is funny! My wife actually made me breakfast this morning. Eggbeater omelet with green peppers and onions covered with low fat shredded cheese. And a big pan of home fried potatoes with more onions and peppers. 12 grain toast and a big old navel orange. I eat it with ice water so I can take my pills. She does not cook breakfast too often but it is always good. I usually make breakfast for myself and always make the coffee. Maybe I can get her to make some blueberry pancakes tomorrow.:clap:
 

Galvatron

Spock and Galvatron < one and the same
I wear the trousers in my house.....and lets get things straight....




If i ever gave my wife coffee in bed with skinny milk and Butter was not on her toast she would beat me to death.


Live and learn boys:yum::yum::yum:
 
D

darroll

Guest
· This little boy told his Mother:

“Mom get your fat a$$ out in the kitchen and get me some corn flakes!”.
She said that is no way to talk to your Mother, and then proceeded to slap the crap out of him.
She turned to her second son and asked him what he wanted for breakfast.
He said, "you can bet your sweet a$$ it won’t be corn flakes".
 

pirate_girl

legendary ⚓
GOLD Site Supporter
Horizon Organic Whole milk here (because it's so freaking delicious and has a long fridge life).
Real butter
Life cereal or Raisin Bran Crunch (when and if I do cereals)

Al, your wife adores you and wants you to remain the slimmer sex machine you've become.:yum:

However... if you're adamant about being grumpy over skinny cow milk and such, may I suggest a new avatar??

haha

New Av.jpg
 

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
Al, your wife adores you and wants you to remain the slimmer sex machine you've become.

We are talking about the same woman I am married too ?????? The one sitting in the living room right now ????


Well I'll be damn !:brows::w00t2::clap:
 
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