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The Pie _______ By Mith

Mith

The Eccentric Englishman
SUPER Site Supporter
Once upon a time there was a pie called Steak and Ale. He lived a happy, but cold, existance with his close freind Pepperoni in an icy abyss. He had lived in his new home, namely 'the 3rd draw from the top' for about 2 months now. Previous to that he had come from a dark and evil place, the picking halls.

These were brightly lit rows between which moved the picking machines. It was every foodstuffs nightmare to be 'picked' from the picking halls. From these halls it was rumoured that the foodstuffs were bundled away to different lands and fed into a munching machine to be made into long brown sausages.

Steak and Ale had come to doubt these rumours during his time in the icy abyss, afterall, despite the cold it was not too bad here. The good times could only come to an end.

It was a particulary normal day in the abyss, the sun wasnt shining, icicles hung from the roof, pepperoni was still suffering from acute acne and Korma with rice was her ususal quiet self. Then 'it' happened. With a whoosh of warm air and a blinding spray of light Steak and Ale felt himself get lifted high into the air. A warm but slightly greasy claw clamped around his side and with a swaying motion he felt himself being pulled away from the cool confines of 'the 3rd draw from the top'.

Steak and ale called out to Pepperoni for help but his cry was not returned. With a clunk and the addition of a new sound, a faint whirring Steak and ale was thrust into another hot blast of air. The claw released, another muffled thud then just the whirring. The air began to warm, Steak and Ale could feel the heat all around hinm now. He knew he was thawing but there was little he could do. His foil space suit was very restictive, he had even been unable to satisfy himself for 2 months in the abyss but his frustration was the least of his worries right now.

A warm wet feeling spread throughout his meaty chunks within, this is it he thought, I can never be refrozen again otherwise I become harmful. His juices began to boil within, his internal chunks began to tenderise. With a jolt of his gravy he thought he saw the red cheeks and smile of a picking machine. It couldnt be, were the rumours all true?

A loud beeping brought Steak and ale back to his senses, some muffled thuds became louder, there was a schuuk sound as light once again flooded into the small environment, this time he was greeted by a refreshing blast of cool air.

Steak and Ale was relieved to be out of the hot confines that had housed him for the previous 10 minutes, he thought the ordeal was over, but no, he could never be refrozen, a terrible thing was going to happen.

A searing pain shot through Steak and Ales crust, it was the worst thing he could ever imagine. It felt like he was being cleaved apart from side to side, he could feel his juices and gravy flowing out of the wound, another sharp pain from his outer crust, his gravy once more spilled from its previous confines.

He felt a small segment of his body get lifed high into the air. The rumours of the picking halls were true. He counted 12 white pegs on his way in, so this was the munching device. He knew his days were numbered very significantly. From his centre the slicing started, into the tenderised meaty chunks of steak, the gravy got sucked from his crisp crusty outer, a rattling 'uuummmm' echoed in the cavern, then with a sharp tug he was pulled down the slide into the warm black tube.........




Hope you guys liked the story almost as much as I enjoyed the pie ;)
Took me bout 1/2 hour to write this story :D
 

BoneheadNW

New member
Mith-

I have said it before and I'll say it again: I want some of what you're smokin! Are you sniffing that paint again? Or is it sheep farts? :fart2:

Seriously, I did enjoy the story. Did you write it or did Salmon Rushdie? :a1:

Bonehead
 
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