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My grandma

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
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[emoji24] I just found out that my last remaining grandparent alive has taken a turn for the worst and was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia a few days ago. They have her on morphine to ease her pain. She lives 9 hrs away.
I'm trying to figure out how to go see her one last time as I wouldn't be able to drive that far. I could fly but right now I'm not sure if I would even get the medical clearance with the issues I have going on with complications from my surgery.
 

MrLiberty

Bronze Member
Site Supporter
Sorry to hear this, I'll add grandma to my prayer list. You're still on it. Maybe a phone call would work, at least to let her know you are there for her in spirit. I know it is a hard decision to have to make. :sad:
 

OhioTC18

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
Sometimes there will be situations that are out our control. This just happens to be one of them. She's in poor health, but you can't travel. That is out of your control.
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
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Just got an update. Looks like she's going into heart failure and her lung capacity is down to 50% so it isn't looking good. Thanks to modern day technology people from all over can video message her as she's feeling up to it.
 

OhioTC18

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
Brian, don't beat yourself up over that. Like I said before, it's out of your control.
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
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Brian, don't beat yourself up over that. Like I said before, it's out of your control.
I'll 2nd that. I know it's so tough, not that you could change things if you were there but you want to be there for her. It makes things extra tough on you. I'll bet she knows you'd be there if it were humanly possible.
 

NorthernRedneck

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So it appears that she has indicated to family and medical staff that she is ready to die. And that in two weeks time she wants to institute the new "assisted dying" law. If she hasn't already passed.
http://eol.law.dal.ca/?page_id=236

So all family members are on their way to be with her. Since I can't be there I sent my goodbye via a messenger message through an uncle. Doesn't make it any easier.
 

NorthernRedneck

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Thanks. Just heard that her bowel ruptured during the night. They flew her to a bigger center to have surgery. At this point it may be a blessing to her if she doesn't pull through. I mean, why pull through only to die a week later?
 

NorthernRedneck

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Seems there's no easy answer on what to do. I was told she was down to 50% lung capacity two days ago and is in heart failure. Now, her bowel has ruptured and she is going in for surgery to remove her colon.
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
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Cancel that. She is still alert and able to make decisions. She has decided to refuse surgery. So its a matter of time.
 

RNE228

Bronze Member
Site Supporter
Could you arrange with family members that are with you grandmother, to take in a laptop PC, and "see" her with Skype? Not the same as being there, but given circumstances would maybe be a good option?
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
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facetime if yall have apple phones would be even easier. Good luck Brian.
 

NorthernRedneck

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Thanks but no thanks. I have no desire to have an iPhone. But that's a whole other story. Lol. We can do the video chat thing on Facebook.

Truth is that I'm still beating myself up over not being there when my other grandmother passed but that was a different story. My ex wife wouldn't allow me to be there because we "couldn't afford" it meanwhile she stayed home with a friend ignoring me and watching movies all night. Only hours after the funeral she took off shopping for 3 days leaving me alone with the kids. I swore I would be there for family no matter what from that point forward. Now because some bimbo slammed on her brakes for a freaking duck at highway speeds I am denied the chance yet again to be there for my family.

Yes, this stems back to my accident. If she hadn't panicked and slammed on her brakes I wouldn't have been run over and wouldn't be going for surgery after surgery. And I would be healthy enough to be there.
 
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NorthernRedneck

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I checked in to see how she was doing last night. She's weak but still has all her wits. Lol. Her response in a snarky tone of voice was "tell him he needs to worry about himself right now." She was always a stern proper woman who had her own way of showing emotions. There was never any bs with her.

This was 5 yrs ago. [emoji3]
27e85d4dade6eecc3a01a30f3c1af76c.jpg
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Ok. So today was probably one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I arranged to facetime with her for a few minutes. She was very weak and could barely speak more than a few words. I told her that we're all thinking about her and I'd be there if I could. I told her I loved her then we said our goodbyes. [emoji22]

That may have been the last time I ever speak to any of my grandparents.
 

Jim_S

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
Ok. So today was probably one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I arranged to facetime with her for a few minutes. She was very weak and could barely speak more than a few words. I told her that we're all thinking about her and I'd be there if I could. I told her I loved her then we said our goodbyes. [emoji22]

That may have been the last time I ever speak to any of my grandparents.

It's good you were able to speak with her.

Jim
 

Desert Dude

New member
Yes. Looks like she's still hanging in there for now. But she doesn't have very long I fear.

I thought that about my grandma too (93). She was in Hospice a couple of months ago. She was in bad shape. I held her hand for what I thought was the last time.

Two weeks later she was admitted into a nursing home. I visited her last Sunday. She tried to escape with me when I was leaving, lol.

My aunt is arranging a special bed and a 24 hour caregiver so she can come back home and be with her cats again.

Her room will have a TV with a cam on the bird feeder in the yard.

I hope your grandma gets well again too. :flowers:
 
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NorthernRedneck

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Thanks. I don't think mine will have that much longer. Pain meds are no longer helping but as she is still there 100% mentally she has basically accepted sedation to help "shut her brain off". With her colon rupturing her body is basically poisoning itself. That happened last week and she was given 1-2 weeks max.
 

Jim_S

Gone But Not Forgotten
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Brian, so sorry to hear of your Grandmothers passing.

She is in a better place with your Grampa.
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
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My condolences Brian. Yes, no more pain and in a better place with your grandpa.
 
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