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  #61  
Old 07-08-2020, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

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Originally Posted by NorthernRedneck View Post
That's awesome. Whatever happens your heart is in the right place. We're still one court date away from finalizing our adoption. Worked on it for nearly 2 years and were set to go to court March 17th for the judge to stamp the final papers. Covid hit and shut everything down March 16th including court proceedings and they won't do family court via video conferencing so we wait.
We already have our first hiccup while looking at the possibility of adoption.

The mother, who is a drug addict, decided she wanted to fight for custody and is entering residential rehab.

Earlier this week 2 case workers, from 2 different agencies, assured us that the mother is absent, has no interest in the child will not make her court appearance. Case workers were wrong. Mom wants the child. Attended the court appearance with a lawyer. Had a plan to regain custody. Much as we've bonded with him it just makes sense to favor the natural mother.

We now know that we have custody until the next court date, which is set for Sept 30 of this year. At least we now know some sort of timeline. Up until not we didn't know if we would have him for a couple weeks, couple months or a couple years. While we know for fact that we have him into the fall of this year, we PROBABLY will have him for more like 18 months (give or take 6 months) based on the average time to complete the process of reclaiming custody.
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  #62  
Old 07-10-2020, 08:22 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

That's the frustrating thing about child welfare. There's no telling sometimes what will happen and things come out of left field without warning.

As a worker, sometimes I would work for weeks or months on a plan for a child and have everything in place then something totally unexpected would happen and I'd have to scramble with only a couple hours to go before a significant life event occurred that changed all my planning.
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  #63  
Old 07-27-2020, 06:57 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

So it looks like we are going to be losing our little baby Felix (Kobe) very soon.

The state wants to strip custody from the mom and put him into a 'pre-adoptive' home. At a few months shy of 60 years old I'm too old to adopt him. I'd be pushing 80 when he enters college. And while I have no plans/desires to die soon, the reality is that if we adopt this beautiful baby boy we could also end up orphaning him and throwing him into the adoption cycle again in the future. Or, conversely we'd be turning our currently 25 year old daughter into a mother.

Somehow none of that seems fair to him (or to Melen).

Just seems like the right choice is to move him into a home where he can be adopted and live with a forever family. Not sure how quickly he will be moved out of our home, but I'd guess pretty quickly
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  #64  
Old 07-27-2020, 07:50 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

That's the tough thing about fostering. When the child is gone, there's a feeling of loss similar to when someone dies only worse because they are still very much alive but you struggle with the fact that you likely will never see them again.

But we pull up our big boy panties and keep plugging forward awaiting the next child who will come into your life and steal your heart. It never gets easier.
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  #65  
Old 07-27-2020, 04:33 PM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

Well we have not notified anyone we won't keep him and adopt him. We basically have remained silent at this point. This is really tough.
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  #66  
Old 07-28-2020, 05:30 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

I know what you mean. It is tough.
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  #67  
Old 07-28-2020, 06:58 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

I'd be bawling my eyes out if I had to say goodbye to a beautiful little baby.
You all did well Bob in giving him the love and care you have.
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  #68  
Old 07-28-2020, 07:56 AM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

Well the lovely Mrs_Bob is wrestling with all this.

Meanwhile there is a beautiful baby boy asleep on the couch next to me (and also next to Walter the female rescue dog) while the morning WGN9 news plays in the background.
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  #69  
Old 08-05-2020, 03:30 PM
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Default Re: Becoming foster parents?

So we had a meeting with the state child/family services lady who is in charge of the case of our little Kobe (Felix).

Looks like they will NOT be moving him out of our house anytime soon. A bit over a week ago we were told that they wanted to move him to a "pre-adoptive" home. BUT, apparently the natural mother, who is a drug addict, is playing some games, and the state feels it is not in the best interest of the baby to move him out of our home. All the medical reports and the agency reports show that he is thriving in our home. The want to keep him thriving and feel he is best off here, at least for the near future.

We had the heart-to-heart conversation with her about the realities of our age, our concerns and what is best for him. Actually the lovely Mrs_Bob did 90% of the talking, which I think was good. She verbalized all the downsides, I think she is coming to grips with the fact that we really are too old to be adopting an infant.

She told us that ultimately he will be moved, but it is likely at least 6 months away, possibly 18 months away.

I think it took away some of our fear that he'd be gone soon. We now have a bit of a timeline and it looks very likely we will have him through the end of the calendar year and possibly quite a bit longer. In some ways that will make things harder when its time to give him up, but it also takes away our immediate fear that we will get a phone call saying they are coming to pick him up.
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