Why it is good to be a man

HEY, It's GOOD to Be a Man!

1. Your last name never changes.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be president of the US.
6. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a hoot if someone notices your new haircut.
9. The world is your urinal.
10. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just "too icky".
11. Same work... more pay.
12. Wrinkles add character.
13. Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
14. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
15. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
18. One mood, ALL the time.
19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
20. You know stuff about tanks.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
24. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
25. You can kill your own food.
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of Thoughtfulness.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
28. Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride, even from the passenger's seat.
32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
34. You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
35. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
36. You can drop by to see a friend without needing to bring a little gift.
37. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
38. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
39. You almost never have strap problems in public.
40. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
41. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
42. You don't have to shave below your neck.
43. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
44. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
45. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
46. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
47. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Another good one & how true

What a guy! That's us to a "T." Urp...!

muleman said:

HEY, It's GOOD to Be a Man!

1. Your last name never changes.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be president of the US.
6. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a hoot if someone notices your new haircut.
9. The world is your urinal.
10. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just "too icky".
11. Same work... more pay.
12. Wrinkles add character.
13. Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
14. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
15. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
18. One mood, ALL the time.
19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
20. You know stuff about tanks.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
24. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
25. You can kill your own food.
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of Thoughtfulness.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
28. Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride, even from the passenger's seat.
32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
34. You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
35. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
36. You can drop by to see a friend without needing to bring a little gift.
37. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
38. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
39. You almost never have strap problems in public.
40. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
41. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
42. You don't have to shave below your neck.
43. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
44. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
45. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
46. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
47. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

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*shudders*

Thank goodness I'm a woman.







lol

Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman

1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.

7. Women live longer than men.

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters...

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

36. Women don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

41. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo

42. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

CityGirl said:

Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman

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Great comeback CG! We'll show 'em!

Just one or two very minor er... details.

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

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We can? Oh right! yeah, we can!!

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

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Yep. *nods wisely* And of course, we can fall back on our intuition; guy's wouldn't know about that secret weapon.

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

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Certainly not! it is however, perfectly acceptable to drool over er... Quark, from Deep Space Nine!

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

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Or be wearing a leather mini-skirt.

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

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I do? Oh, right... I do!

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

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Only four times a year... isn't that economical? Oh yeahhhhh!

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

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Alas...