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Old 04-01-2017, 08:37 PM
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Default Re: Little Johnny

I love little Johnny lol.
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:42 AM
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Default Re: Little Johnny

A policeman on a horse approaches little Johnny on a bicycle and says, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
“Yep,” replies the little boy.
“Well, tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” he says, and fines her $5 for it.
Little Johnny looks up at the policeman and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
“Well,” says Johnny, “next year tell Santa that the d–ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!”

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Old 06-14-2017, 08:57 AM
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Default Re: Little Johnny

The kids filed into class Monday morning.
They were all very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, and then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies & Imade $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Debbie," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom & dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467," he said
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand & I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!"
Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."
Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment.

What we tolerate today our children will embrace tomorrow
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:16 AM
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Default Re: Little Johnny


The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.
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