Best Day Ever.

bczoom said:

I looked at that picture again and again....

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So'd I. Are you sure that girl's your get? She's sure a cutie. Couldn't have been from you.

However, your "find" surely is a wonderful thing. I'm happy for you to have your daughter in your life, as well as the grandkid. I'd be blowing my buttons off too, if it were me.

Been a few weeks so time for a update....

All going very well indeed....Katie and Wiggles(nick name for the boy)visit pretty much every other day....it is great timing with the kids being on the summer Holidays and me taken some time off to be home.....many questions asked and all honest replies given with no offence taken by either side.

My wife went camping for a few days this week with the kids so gave me and Katie some honest up front talk time....and i am amazed the girl feels so at home so fast....guess she kinda knew it's not just my home it's a family home and at no point as she not been welcome.

Just to add my wife is the Star she as always been throughout everything we encounter in life....and all my kids make me so so proud....one big Happy Family.

I pray things stay the same....can't ask for any better.

Pic of the lad acting odd like his pop's

Precious!

pirate_girl said:

Precious!

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I know i am....and the lad aint bad too


Thanks PG.

Thats great news Galvatron , nice to here some good news . I,m sure things will only get better for all of you .

Glad things are going well Galvi! You're a good man regardless of what Rusty, tsaw, and muleman say.

Hey, I never said he was a bad guy, just a little touched in the head! Cute baby Galvi. Gives you a chance to play dad all over again.

Great up-date. I'm so glad it is going well.
You are a good man - that is a fact.

Glad things are going good Galv

Good to see things are going good for you, Galvigramps!!!

Well sad news i am afraid and i write this with a tear in my eye.....

It is all over,i need to write this to get it off my chest.....

I always had in my mind the thought would my Daughter still have the bond and life values i had installed in her up from birth until the age of around 14 and sadly i found out the answer was no.I am a man with strong values on honesty and integrity and if i see something is not right i have to say it as it is especially when it is one of my Children as it it my duty as a Father to guide them down the right path in life...if as a parent i did not do this then i would be part of causing societies social issues.

So how it went wrong....well it was all about greed from which i have a kind of hatred for,i have a strong belief if you want nice things in life then sure enough go work hard and acquire them things as i fully well know the good feeling inside when you work hard and save hard the rewards at the end taste sweet.

With her fiancée working and them all crammed at her Mum's house she was offered a apartment of her own through the local Government's assisted housing scheme,i was honestly pleased for them but in my mind something was ticking over and as many of you here are parents you will know what i am talking about,the income the fiancée told me he earned and the life style they were living just did not add up,if it was to be a case of spending foolishly on credit cards then in due course they would learn the hard way and i would have helped pick up the pieces but no it was to be far worse and something i am ashamed to even write about but who knows maybe some kid will come by and learn from reading this.

A few weeks ago whilst she was visiting i offered to run through a list of financial scenarios to help help her understand fully the importance of paying bills on time,having a healthy budget so there is always food on the table ect and to go through what she had to set up this home and what she did not have and off guard it popped straight out that they were fiddling the state welfare system along to top up her partners income....not just in a small way but in a way the state looked at her as a single parent and took good care of her and the state would pay her rent in full along with pretty much everything else...they had done this for some time and planned to continue doing so until they felt they were comfy and no longer needed it.........

Saying i pissed is an understatement....who the fuck advises such bullshit in life to a kid...BINGO her Mum and step Dad along with a handful of friends.....she had done this under thier room for some time now all with their blessing and assistance...the welfare never even knew that her fiancée was living with them.

In an instance i knew this was the testing of our relationship as Father and Daughter and i knew no matter how i said it it was 50/50 on me ever seeing her again....i kinda hoped that my values i installed years earlier would re-surface but sadly they did not.

I stayed as calm as i could and read the riot act on how this is not just legally wrong it was morally wrong and no way could this continue....i pulled out a pen and in detail showed her with their honest income how they could manage and in return hold their heads high and be proud of what they had...i promised financial assistance to help them get started as long as they ditched the fraud and done what was right....i wasted my breath.

Kinda hard for me to continue now so i will just sum up the end....she went off home to her Mum and as she left i felt my heart crush as i knew by her final look that was it all over but held out with a little hope that i was wrong.

My calls to her went un-answered so i gave her a couple of weeks to breath...last night i finally got hold of her to have confirmed my worst fears...she told me contacting me was a mistake.........my sticking my nose in was not welcome...i explained i was only doing what any half decent parent would do and tried to reason with her but her mind was made up....then come the blow that i never deserved and it was a cheap shot that only her Mother could have encouraged her to do.." she knew as far as she was concerned her step Father was the only Father she needed and it felt horrid calling me Dad"

That's it i can't write no more the pain is raw but i have written this as a final chapter and i will close this book with sadness,i am a tough old nut but this cracked my shell....i will be strong and my wife and 3 over Children will give the the strength to smile once again.

If i would have lost her for other reasons i could have held out hope...for greed all hope is gone i have seen she is just way to much like her Mother...yes i have failed and will always blame myself in many ways but i know by the way my other Children behave in life i do know deep down it was not me that installed that greed.....and that greed cost me my Daughter and Grandson.

I promise that as i have turned the Happy forum in to a moment of darkness i will in some way do good and return asap to write of Happier happenings in my life.

I'm off to shake this shit off....Thanks for listening.....Book closed!

Dean.

You did what you believed right in showing her the error of her ways. Since she's been absent from your life for so long, it's quite natural that her mum's ways have become a bigger part of her than yours have. In that regard, Dean, you did not fail!
Her mum failed and so has she. I can understand the pain you're feeling and I wish so much that I could help erase it.
As much of a screwball as you are on this forum, I sense a strong, decent fella whom I am proud to call "friend". Would God that I lived nearer to you so you and I could crack open a pint and you could use my ear for a while.
As I read your ending post to this saga, I could feel your heart tearing in half. Mine would be the same, were I wearing your shoes.
Hang with us. We'll help you walk through these dark days.
Go ahead, the tears are well deserved.
Monte

A large part of parenting is accepting the fact that once they reach a certain age your parental influence is greatly diminished. After that you are only an observer for the most part. Sad as you may be by all this she is on her own now and must pay the price for her decisions. Chin up Buddy!

I,m sorry to here this Galvy , there comes a time for tough love & it seems to me this was the time for yours . Its one of the hardest but very neccesary parts of life IMO .

Kudos to you for sticking with whats right & trying your best to relay that to your daughter . It might take time but I beleive there will come a day when She realizes the mistake & hopefully it wont be to late .

It can & does happen , its just a matter of time . Hang in there & never change

I'm so sorry to hear this Galvy. Hopefully she will come around. Keep the faith.

Wow.
just wow.
I wish I had some encouraging words for you, but I don't.
You did right. You tried to get her to see the right of things.
I there was anything I could do or say to help you feel better, I would do it.
All I can suggest at this point is that you rejoice in the beautiful and loving family you have around you now rather than dwelling on your lost lamb.

dont blame yourself, you did nothing wrong.

she will come back around, she just has so much bullshit being put into her ear right now that she probably cant think. she called you once and she will call you again.

as a father that has had no contact with his daughter for 8 years, i feel your pain.

mine started with an ex who was greedy.

you did what was right by you, thats all that matters. if its any comfort, i would have done the same damn thing.

Don't know what to say my friend. Sorry to hear and really can't say anymore than what has been said. You did the right thing and can't really do much more.

Closed at original posters request.