Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN




Go Back   Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN > Off Topic Forums > Junkman's Corner

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #621  
Old 12-30-2019, 08:34 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

If I were to work as a security guard at a Samsung phone store, would that make me the "guardian of the galaxy"?

Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (01-01-2020), Doc  (12-30-2019), Jim_S  (12-30-2019), Ross 650 (12-30-2019)
  #622  
Old 12-31-2019, 10:57 AM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Jim_S  (12-31-2019)
  #623  
Old 12-31-2019, 11:06 AM
pirate_girl's Avatar
pirate_girl pirate_girl is offline
Poster Extraordinaire
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 48,932
Thanks: 12,750
Thanked 38,890 Times in 12,259 Posts
pirate_girl is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Name:  Groan20191231_082808.jpg
Views: 824
Size:  113.2 KB
__________________
Mother Superior Nana Patriot Nurse
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to pirate_girl For This Useful Post:
Doc  (12-31-2019), Jim_S  (12-31-2019)
  #624  
Old 12-31-2019, 12:00 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (01-01-2020), Jim_S  (12-31-2019)
  #625  
Old 01-01-2020, 02:00 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A wife and husband were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

Husband asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed,

'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' Husband said,

'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Jim_S  (01-01-2020)
  #626  
Old 01-01-2020, 07:18 PM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Yep
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-01-2020), FrancSevin (01-02-2020), Jim_S  (01-01-2020)
  #627  
Old 01-02-2020, 05:47 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

"People should just mind their own business''.

Is probably the funniest thing I've ever read on a social networking site.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Jim_S  (01-02-2020)
  #628  
Old 01-02-2020, 07:44 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Attached Images
 
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Jim_S  (01-02-2020)
  #629  
Old 01-06-2020, 11:01 PM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-25-2020), Jim_S  (01-07-2020)
  #630  
Old 01-20-2020, 08:22 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

What kind of Dr is Dr pepper?

A fizzician.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-25-2020), Jim_S  (01-26-2020)
  #631  
Old 01-20-2020, 08:52 AM
Bannedjoe's Avatar
Bannedjoe Bannedjoe is offline
Bronze Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Location, location
Posts: 1,253
Thanks: 180
Thanked 3,292 Times in 1,051 Posts
Bannedjoe is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

What do you call an Egyptian prince with a degree in plumbing?







Turn computer upside down to read answer.

ɹoɾɐɯ ʇǝɔnɐɟ ɥoɐɹɐɥd ɐ
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bannedjoe For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-25-2020), NorthernRedneck (01-20-2020)
  #632  
Old 01-21-2020, 04:03 PM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-25-2020), Jim_S  (01-21-2020)
  #633  
Old 01-25-2020, 10:22 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Breaking story....

Shipment of viagra stolen. Cops are looking for the hardened criminals.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-25-2020), Jim_S  (01-25-2020), Ross 650 (01-25-2020)
  #634  
Old 01-26-2020, 06:34 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 36,644
Thanks: 34,885
Thanked 26,023 Times in 8,967 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

If lawyers are disbarred and

clergymen defrocked,

doesn't it follow that

electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted,

cowboys deranged,

models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked, and

dry cleaners depressed?
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Jim_S  (01-26-2020), NorthernRedneck (01-27-2020)
  #635  
Old 01-28-2020, 08:30 PM
JimVT's Avatar
JimVT JimVT is offline
Bronze Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Enumclaw WA.
Posts: 4,057
Thanks: 12
Thanked 2,286 Times in 959 Posts
JimVT is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I just won a free trip to china. think i'll give it to a friend.
__________________
Jim KF7RiN
#185 snow trac
2004 pistenbully canyon
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JimVT For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-28-2020), Jim_S  (01-28-2020), pixie (02-07-2020)
  #636  
Old 01-29-2020, 08:29 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Justin Trudeau just banned the sale of Mexican beer in Canada in an attempt to stop the coronavirus.

Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (01-29-2020), FrancSevin (01-29-2020), Jim_S  (01-29-2020), pixie (02-07-2020), Ross 650 (02-01-2020)
  #637  
Old 01-29-2020, 10:24 AM
FrancSevin's Avatar
FrancSevin FrancSevin is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 11,819
Thanks: 8,149
Thanked 12,150 Times in 3,700 Posts
FrancSevin has a spectacular aura aboutFrancSevin has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernRedneck View Post
Justin Trudeau just banned the sale of Mexican beer in Canada in an attempt to stop the coronavirus.

__________________
Proudly Deplorable
When criminal justice is supplanted by social justice there is no justice.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FrancSevin For This Useful Post:
Doc  (02-07-2020), Jim_S  (01-29-2020)
  #638  
Old 02-01-2020, 11:25 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Um....yah.....so....
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (02-07-2020), Jim_S  (02-01-2020), Ross 650 (02-01-2020)
  #639  
Old 02-07-2020, 04:06 PM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My doctor told me my sugar was too high.

So I came home and lowered it from a shelf onto the counter.

Don't ask google why cornflakes were invented.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (02-07-2020), Jim_S  (02-07-2020)
  #640  
Old 02-07-2020, 11:09 PM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murillo, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,346
Thanks: 5,530
Thanked 12,029 Times in 4,604 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Tequila won't fix all my problems but it's worth a shot.

Don't ask google why cornflakes were invented.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (02-09-2020), Jim_S  (02-07-2020)
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tidbits waybomb Urban Legends, Snopes, Unconfirmed Emails Forum 0 05-30-2011 04:08 PM
Some interesting tidbits Cowboyjg Junkman's Corner 0 02-14-2009 07:59 AM
Todays Groaners.... #1 Junkman Jokes_Forum 3 12-07-2006 07:25 AM
tidbits from the South (USA) Doc Jokes_Forum 2 05-10-2006 07:23 PM





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2002 - 2020 www.ForumsForums.com