How serious can we take our troubles?

I got a letter from Cleveland clinic today asking for some follow up info on my stay there. It really made me think that all the things we piss and moan about daily are really not that important as long as we have reasonably good health and friends to go through life with. Three years ago most of the docs and my family figured I was sure to die. They restarted my heart 14 times and stuffed 9 stents in my arteries. The great Dr. Nissan at Cleveland assured my wife my heart would be fine but had no idea if my lungs and other organs could recover. By July30 I started to bounce in and out of reality and by August 1st I had regained consciousness. By the 3rd I was asking for food and somewhat answering questions. My wife said when they pulled most of the tubes out so I could speak she knew I would recover. So today as I sit here and complain about having to watch my diet or my weight fluctuating it really ain't that important is it? I am still alive and exceeding all the doctor's expectations and able to lead a fairly normal life. So I really can't complain about much as I am truly three years beyond what would have been my lifetime. Thanks for listening Bill

For a man who went through all you have Bill, and for one who works as hard as you do, I'd say the Good Lord isn't ready to let you go just yet.
.. and I'm glad for that

Besides that, the devil wouldn't have ya!


Getting back to serious:
I have shared bits of this on the forum before, but not much of it.
Back in June of '94 I was in a very bad car crash at the intersection of Watson Road and 66 in Defiance, Ohio.

This was during my first marriage. The kids were still young.
Jeff was 16 and Ty was 11. Ty was in the car with me.
Some guy in a huge Ford truck ran the stop sign at the intersection and I slammed into the side going 65 mph. I'd just passed a combine coming down the road previously.
All I can remember is Ty yelling That truck!

I vaguely remember holding onto the steering wheel, then coming to with the sound of the jaws of life cutting me out.
The dash was in my lap, almost all of my front teeth were knocked out, I had an open head wound (ex said it looked like someone chopped my skull with an axe) fractured right foot (I broke off the brake pedal) large cut in my left elbow that went through the side window, my hair was stuck in the windshield crack, fractured ribs.. I was a mess and got life flighted to Parkview Hospital in Ft. Wayne Indiana.
Ty jumped out of the car and fainted in a ditch and was seen to by people who live just up the hill on either side of that intersection.
When the police came and started asking me questions about if I knew where I was and what happened, I looked over at the seat and asked them where is my son?? All the cop kept saying is "it's going to be alright Mrs. Sanders".. I thought Ty had died.
Anyway, I recovered after 3 weeks in the hospital and had a lot of memory loss and saw a great neurologist AND reconstructive surgeon.
Don't recall Jeff's 16th birthday party at all, which happend more than a month later. It was a long road to recovery.
Ty came out of the wreck with a nasty flap gash on his head and some bruised ribs.
So.. when times get tough, I often go back to those times, a lot of times in fact and think things aren't all that bad now, are they?

I did that part of it back in 91 with a motorcycle on a gas line in the total boondocks above I80 in Pa. I don't remember much of it till they had me in a hospital in Danville. They screwed and wired my head back together and it reminds me when i eat ice cream. I guess I am so bad God has not figured out where I am supposed to end up at!

Wow. Just amazing. I had no idea. Bill, I'd have to say you have the right outlook on life. Your personality has always struck me as a guy who
has a great sense of humor - and can deal with a whole shit load of things not going for the best... and always come back 100% on top of it.
My admiration and respect for you is 1000%

muleman said:

I did that part of it back in 91 with a motorcycle on a gas line in the total boondocks above I80 in Pa. I don't remember much of it till they had me in a hospital in Danville. They screwed and wired my head back together and it reminds me when i eat ice cream. I guess I am so bad God has not figured out where I am supposed to end up at!

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I don't have a wired head (or do I? lol).. but I do have a nice little piece of teflon strip that was placed inside the head wound.
To this day I can't feel a thing on that part of my scalp.

Even when I brush my hair or wash it. However, if I get an itch, which I CAN feel, scratching it doesn't help.. I have to tug on my hair in that spot.

As for my teeth, eating things like corn on the cob, thick crust pizza and egg rolls are no nos. I already pulled off one cap biting into an eggroll and had to have it replaced. I think the fact that I have broken that same foot/ankle several times is why it became gouty a while ago.. of course.. that's not a problem now, although it does hurt occasionally.

What cracks me up is folks who complain about surgical scars. I tell them "well they could have left you in pain or just waited for you to die and then you could be buried without any scars". That usually changes their tune pretty quick. I figure mine are war wounds from the battle of life. I just hope i get at least 3 more years out of this ICD before they cut it out and stick another one in.

muleman said:

What cracks me up is folks who complain about surgical scars. I tell them "well they could have left you in pain or just waited for you to die and then you could be buried without any scars". That usually changes their tune pretty quick. I figure mine are war wounds from the battle of life. I just hope i get at least 3 more years out of this ICD before they cut it out and stick another one in.

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The only scars I have are the ones on my tummy from the cholecystectomy, and the one that's hidden inside my cracked head under a mane of hair.

muleman said:

What cracks me up is folks who complain about surgical scars. I tell them "well they could have left you in pain or just waited for you to die and then you could be buried without any scars". That usually changes their tune pretty quick. I figure mine are war wounds from the battle of life. I just hope i get at least 3 more years out of this ICD before they cut it out and stick another one in.

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Is that a pacemaker bill?

Three way pacemaker. Guaranteed to knock you to your knees if the recalled wires don't short it out and just keep shocking you. Seriously! They can't change the wires without doing open heart and then it would be extremely dangerous. So we hope the doc who put it in did a good job stripping the insulation when he put the wires in my heart. In three years the only thing it recorded was when I got against the fence wire while weed whacking. They will pick it up again in September when I go back for the fancy test on it. I scan it every 90 days with a home unit and it calls it in to Milwaukee with the results. Once a year I got get hooked up with all kinds of wires and electrodes to download all the data from the previous year. Then they test it and check the battery life and good to go for another year. Hope it is an energizer!

My mom got a PM last year. It was done through her shoulder. Stripped wires were shoved down her blood vessels. Don't know it were arteries or veins.
But it was definately wires stabbed into the heart to send a simulated "pulse" Her heart rate is now steady. I never heard of the 3 way pacemaker you have. But I did learn that the battery is good for 10 years. Must be an energizer_

Well until they flew me to Cleveland and found I had a heparin allergy I had all 3 kinds of heart attacks. Hence the type of pacemaker I got. It is designed to speed it up or slow it down or restart it if it stops. I just know I ain't looking forward to ever getting shocked again. That Shit hurts for months afterward. That and getting beat on to slow it down. I still hurt at Christmas time plus some of the meds gave me bad cramping pain. All good now. Got the right combo of drugs and life is good.

Glad your still tickin along there Bill . Its one day at a time . I too feel like you and it took a major life threating experience to realize what is really important in my life . People may think I am a real nut case and a big joke but putting a smile on someones face ,makes my day now . Most folks get way too serious and miss out on too much .Lighten up people and enjoy life !

I know what you mean Al. Today's "chore" is to install some cupboards over at the animal shelter. They were donated back when I had my shoulder operated on and nobody else has stepped up to do it. I am hoping to get a neighbor to help hold them up while i screw them to the wall. Will make life a lot easier for the old women who volunteer over there.

Sure sounds like You,ve been through hell & back Bill . good to here its making a turnaround for you & keeping a positive attitude .

muleman said:

What cracks me up is folks who complain about surgical scars. I tell them "well they could have left you in pain or just waited for you to die and then you could be buried without any scars". That usually changes their tune pretty quick. I figure mine are war wounds from the battle of life. I just hope i get at least 3 more years out of this ICD before they cut it out and stick another one in.

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I always found that funny also Bill. I had my face crushed in a tractor accident on my 12th birthday. Doctors at the local hospital in Virginia told my mother I would die due to the facial trauma I suffered. Crushed my upper and lower jaws, knocking out my teeth, blinding me in both eyes as well as my nose and cheek bones. They took me by ambulance to Duke University Hospital where one doctor took over my case on his dime. 18 months later I regained sight in my right eye and lost the left completely. 400 plus operations over the next 3 years and I could resume a normal life. Since them I've managed to break most of the bones in the rest of my body, been shot, stabbed and even gone down in a helicopter but still kicking at 64. Hence I really believe if it doesn't kill you it simply makes one stronger. As for looks, not a problem been married to the same woman for 46 years and she doesn't really care what I look like.

Someone once told me that "if you got a roomful of people and everyone threw their troubles into a big pile in the middle of the room, you'd likely scramble to get yours back"

I found that to be very insightful, and while I don't recall who said it, I have never lost sight of the message.

Yes Smoke King I concur. I know as bad as I was during my stay at Duke there where kids there in worse shape and in a lot more pain than I was. I survived and many of them didn't.

Bill i am so thankful you made it m8 as you are a good soul that i enjoy knowing.

And your right....why piss and moan when everyday is so special.

Galvi, Kind of like having a dickhead for a neighbor and then finding out you have a grandson.Life gives you challenges and rewards if you don't try to out think yourself.

muleman said:

Galvi, Kind of like having a dickhead for a neighbor and then finding out you have a grandson.Life gives you challenges and rewards if you don't try to out think yourself.

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Bill you have a great point my friend.....after reading how lucky you are it got me thinking and life is way to short to stress....i will remember your post every time things seem to piss me off so i can pull straight back to reality......you are a wise man.

I don't know if it is wisdom or sheer fatigue from getting knocked around so much. I for sure have learned to ask myself how important is it really? Lots of good in most situations if you take the time to look for it. It is not always visible right away but it is there. Same goes for people.

I had this major operation a few years back................ looks down at vasectomy scar......... Ummmm never mind I survived thats all that matters eh??

norscaner said:

I had this major operation a few years back................ looks down at vasectomy scar......... Ummmm never mind I survived thats all that matters eh??

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Now that is funny had it done 43 years ago. Best thing I ever had done considering I was married to Ms. Xerox.

muleman said:

I got a letter from Cleveland clinic today asking for some follow up info on my stay there. It really made me think that all the things we piss and moan about daily are really not that important as long as we have reasonably good health and friends to go through life with. Three years ago most of the docs and my family figured I was sure to die. They restarted my heart 14 times and stuffed 9 stents in my arteries. The great Dr. Nissan at Cleveland assured my wife my heart would be fine but had no idea if my lungs and other organs could recover. By July30 I started to bounce in and out of reality and by August 1st I had regained consciousness. By the 3rd I was asking for food and somewhat answering questions. My wife said when they pulled most of the tubes out so I could speak she knew I would recover. So today as I sit here and complain about having to watch my diet or my weight fluctuating it really ain't that important is it? I am still alive and exceeding all the doctor's expectations and able to lead a fairly normal life. So I really can't complain about much as I am truly three years beyond what would have been my lifetime. Thanks for listening Bill

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Bill,
I know exactly where you're coming from.
In 1998 I was helping clear some trees at my brothers new property in the rain. One particular tree was really close to a power line. We saved that one until last. When we decided to tackle it, we tied it off with 2 ropes and cut the trunk. Well it was heavy to one side and started to go right into the power line. We grabbed the ropes and pulled, but it was so heavy all we could do was hold it steady. Then the pain in my chest hit. OMG it was intense. If I let go, my 2 brothers could get electrocuted in the rain with this tree hitting the lines. If I stay where I am, I felt I could die. I knew what it was. Anyway, I have no idea how, but we lowered the tree to safety. I walked away to sit down. The pain did not subside. Even being out in the sticks we were able to call 911. 20 mins later a squad showed up. Took me to town to a hospital with an ER but no cath lab. All they could do after all the tests was give me TPA which is not the usual protocol for a heart attack, but it could just save my life. Life Flight was called to take me to Columbus, but they were grounded due to weather so an ambulance service took me to Columbus. Cath was performed and clot had already been dissloved and I should be fine. Doc said it was a fluke because there wasn't much stenosis.
Then in 1999, Thanksgiving Day while I was doing the turkey I had another heart attack. Off to the hospital. Three stents and a few days later I was home.
In 2003, I was awakened in the middle of the night with the same crushing pain. Have you ever had an elephant walk across your chest? That's what it feels like. Two stents and a few days later I was home again.
In 2005, a stress test showed some issues, so off for another cath. I needed a triple bypass, stents won't work this time. I waited at home for a few months due to a backed up schedule at my hospital of choice. Went in for surgery finally, but one artery was too small to graft to, so that made it a double bypass. They did it as a "beating heart" procedure. They did not not have to stop my heart. One of the bypasses closed up, so they solved one issue out of three.

I still have issues at times, but if I just sit and relax for a minute, I'm fine.

So now you can see what my Granddaughter means to me. Each new day with her is wonderful. She means the world to me.

At work I hear "Have a Good Day" all time. I reply, "I am". If I can wake up and put my feet on the ground and suck air, it's a good day.

norscaner said:

I had this major operation a few years back................ looks down at vasectomy scar......... Ummmm never mind I survived thats all that matters eh??

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Hell I forgot about that scar! That was one of the first ones of my married life. Probably the smallest one also. Most of the rest only show when i get a tan in the summertime. I don't worry about them or the lumps from blown IV's and ICD's. I figure the one on my right bicep balances out the one on my left pectoral.

Neighbor was up here today stressing cause two of his cows got out. He was all out of breath from chasing them up the hill. I had gone out without a shirt on and after telling him to calm down and relax he asked me about the lumps on my arm and chest. I explained to him this is what he has to look forward to if he does not lower his stress level a bit. The cows will get tired and hungry and we will get them back in the barn sooner or later. Life is too short to get too excited over little things. After visiting my Amish neighbor's place this morning and talking to his brother my aches and pains ain't nothing. His wife is the only one still hospitalized and it will be a long slow journey for her. Having had my experiences I know what she has coming up and it will be tough. Makes me appreciate what I have going good once again.

muleman said:

Neighbor was up here today stressing cause two of his cows got out. He was all out of breath from chasing them up the hill. I had gone out without a shirt on and after telling him to calm down and relax he asked me about the lumps on my arm and chest. I explained to him this is what he has to look forward to if he does not lower his stress level a bit. The cows will get tired and hungry and we will get them back in the barn sooner or later. Life is too short to get too excited over little things...

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Something that I do try to take on board... you're so right.

But, it's easier said than done. I'm 35, and according to my Physician I am in excellent health, apart from some high blood pressure. I'm no way overweight, and eat healthily, etc. Its all down to overworking, and stress. I do tend to worry about anything and everything, its a vicious circle.

I've had this blood pressure problem for a while now... I've been a worrier for all of my life.

There's an old adage: Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

Damn, I wish I could remember that more often.

muleman said:

Neighbor was up here today stressing cause two of his cows got out. He was all out of breath from chasing them up the hill. I had gone out without a shirt on and after telling him to calm down and relax he asked me about the lumps on my arm and chest. I explained to him this is what he has to look forward to if he does not lower his stress level a bit. The cows will get tired and hungry and we will get them back in the barn sooner or later. Life is too short to get too excited over little things. After visiting my Amish neighbor's place this morning and talking to his brother my aches and pains ain't nothing. His wife is the only one still hospitalized and it will be a long slow journey for her. Having had my experiences I know what she has coming up and it will be tough. Makes me appreciate what I have going good once again.

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