Not so romantic short poems...

THESE
ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING
FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME

WITH
THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,

AND
THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:





1.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying
you has screwed up my life.


2.
I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's
why I always wake up screaming.


3.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This
describes everything you are not.


4.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But
I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.


5.
I thought that I could love no other

--
that is until I met your brother.


6.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are
you.

But
the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar
bowl's
empty
and so is your head.


7.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But
don't take that paper bag off your face.


8.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn,
I'm good at telling lies!


9.
My love, you take my breath away.

What
have you stepped in to smell this way?


10.
My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except
for maybe 'Go to hell.'


11.
What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two
parts vodka, one part lime.


WHO
SAID POETRY IS BORING?

Got that in an email. Here's my addition I just came up with:

12.
Love is faithful. Love is kind.

I married you, so love must be blind!

(my little tribute to the ex)