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Old 04-17-2012, 12:14 PM
empty little borderline empty little borderline is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: the verge of insanity..
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Default somewhere i belong

i sit here in this lonely house

tears are in my eyes

outside i hear the sounds of life

and people rushing by

they seem oh so contented

they seem to be having fun

each of them enjoying life

and smiling at the sun

but up here, things are diffrent

the days go on and on

and it's all because i can not find

somewhere i belong

i remember happy times, many years ago

i'd laugh and play and enjoy life

and no one ever would know

that today i'm still the same person,

nothing's really changed

accept my view of life and death,

and some things i can't explain

it all came on quite slowly

but i remember well,

noticing the changes

and not wanting to tell

i remember hearing voices,

my first ever helusination

my first ever troubled sleep

and my other agrivations

i remember when i first thought,

what's the point anymore

i'm done here, screw this life, show me to the door.

my family they are nagging me,

you can't be like this for ever

i say- did i want this?

no i didon't, never

they tell me that i'm useless

that i'm only playing games

i turn round and i tell them,

it's really not the same

but soon you'll be free of me

and you won't have to wait

cos i think i know where i belong

and it's not this place of hate

each night i am so restless

thoughts running through my head

of what a loser i really am

and how it's better i was dead

but how to do the task in hand

how to make it a success

how to get where i belong

make the angels impressed

at times, i want to blame myself

for my less than perfict health

but i realise if i do that,

i'd be lying to myself

i didon't ask for voices,

or anxieties

i didon't ask for mood swings,

someone listen to me please

cos i'm crying out, once again

i need my voice to be heard

before it's all too late

and what you read are empty words

because i will not be with you,

i'll be singing a heavenly song

i'd have made the transition

to the place where i belong

at times when i am happy,

and i'm feeling free from pain

i make a step forward in my life,

try to live again

last year was almost hopeful,

getting in to colledge

but what's the point of staying their,

if you can't retain the knoledge

on the other hand though,

i didon't want to leave

but i can't control inside me

what messages i reciev
some people call me a lier,
it's the ofeliac in me

yeah sometimes i exagerate

but don't know what i'm doing, you see

but i swear to god i'm serius

about my life ending

why would i lie about that stuff,

what's the point pretending?

suicide is sensitive

you either mean it or you don't

and when i find the place where i belong,

i will not be alone

hundreds maybe thousands, have left before their time

because like me they feel so misunderstood

and like me, their not fine

if i'm honest, i feel deserted

by everyone around

friends, family, relatives,

it seems they all look down

on someone who's not worth their time

someone just like me

someone who has realised,

he's beyond all misery

of course i have my up days,

they are really quite a blast,
but because of how i'm feeling

the happyness won't last

it's like a rush of adrenilin

pumping through my brain

it might last, 1, maybe 2 days

and then it starts to rain

during those times i wonder,

maybe i've been wrong

i should be alive here

this is where i belong

but all too soon it changes,

the thoughts come racing back,

i belong in heaven

i do, and that is that

i think that in conclusion

my life is at an end

and people blame it all on me,

they think that i pretend

no wonder i'm so paronoyed,

no wonder my mouth stays closed

it's no point telling anyone my feelings,

because no one wants to know

i'm sorry i'm not perfict,

but you know what makes me mad?

the fact that when i'm dead and gone,

none of you will be sad

so i guess it's back to thinking,

dark disturbing thoughts

cos i'm used to feeling so alone,

their's no life here anymore
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