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Tidbits AKA Groaners

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Wine Stoppers Are for Quitters!!!!!
 
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Wouldn't it be great if mosquitoes sucked fat, not blood.

Everybody would be camping or fishing!
 
I just heard Walmart is going to open up dental clinics in their stores.

They plan to have express lanes for people who have 10 teeth or less.

Canadian eh!!!
 
What is the longest word in the English language?
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Smiles, there is a mile between the S’s
 
The only time you don't wish you had a bigger boat is when you’re waxing it
 
I was really disappointed today when I learned that landlady.

Was not the opposite of mermaid.
 
I'm glad to be semi healthy at my age,

my teeth and I still sleep together!
 
A nurse at the hospital received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered,

"I'm a brunette."
 
What you call a man with no body but a nose?

Nobody Nose
 
When I was a kid, my brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.
 
Last night I asked a friend to spell wonton backwards.

She said not now!
 
I'm probably not going to get accepted into the Optimist Club again this year!
 
If you've never tried blindfolded archery.

You don't know what you're missing!
 
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It's so hot that each time I fart I have to check if I shit myself or if I just stirred the sweat on my arse.

Sent from my SM-G965U1 using Tapatalk
 
Do you know why President Trump doesn't wear glasses at 73 years old?

Because he's got 2020!
 
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My doctor told me yesterday to start watching what I eat.

Anybody know what channel
the Ice Cream Network is on?
 
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