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  #561  
Old 07-13-2019, 08:55 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My ex used to ask, "How come you don't take out the garbage?"
I'd respond, "Why? You cooked it!"
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  #562  
Old 07-14-2019, 09:28 PM
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  #563  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

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  #564  
Old 07-22-2019, 04:03 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

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  #565  
Old 07-22-2019, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

It's so hot that each time I fart I have to check if I shit myself or if I just stirred the sweat on my arse.

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Old 07-23-2019, 09:10 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Do you know why President Trump doesn't wear glasses at 73 years old?

Because he's got 2020!
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  #567  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:24 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Where did captain hook get his hook?


At a second hand store.

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  #568  
Old 08-11-2019, 10:04 AM
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  #569  
Old 08-13-2019, 07:40 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

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  #570  
Old 08-13-2019, 05:13 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My doctor told me yesterday to start watching what I eat.

Anybody know what channel
the Ice Cream Network is on?
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  #571  
Old 08-14-2019, 09:51 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Lol

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  #572  
Old 08-14-2019, 02:44 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Why don't vegans moan during sex?

Because they don't want anyone to know that a piece of meat makes them happy.

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  #573  
Old 08-15-2019, 04:08 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A West Virginia state trooper, stopped a woman for going 15 miles over the speed limit.

After he handed her a ticket, she asked him,

"Don't you give out warnings?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "They're all up and down the road. They say, 'Speed Limit 55.'"
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  #574  
Old 08-15-2019, 04:35 PM
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  #575  
Old 08-17-2019, 08:48 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My friend David had his id stolen the other day.

Now we just call him Dav.
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  #576  
Old 08-17-2019, 09:04 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I saw a kidnapping the other day,

I decided to let him sleep.
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  #577  
Old 08-20-2019, 10:03 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

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  #578  
Old 08-22-2019, 07:14 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

When women hold off from marrying men, they call it,

Independence.

When men hold off from marrying women, they call it,

Fear of commitment.
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  #579  
Old 08-24-2019, 11:20 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I recently took a pole.

Everyone in the tent became upset when it collapsed.

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