BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it
now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
Going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
Toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but
why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
Plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
Road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
Molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
Roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
Cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
Important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never _cra...#@&&
;^(C%_
(mailto:cra...#@&&;^(C ) reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!!
......... What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? ........We need
Some black chickens!
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it
now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
Going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
Toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but
why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
Plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
Road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
Molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
Roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
Cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
Important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never _cra...#@&&
;^(C%_
(mailto:cra...#@&&;^(C ) reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!!
......... What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? ........We need
Some black chickens!
