• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

Not sure what to think or say...

Angelface

New member
I had this friend last night who was messaging me he was on his last straw.. His father is in bad shape and he thinks no one cares about him and that he feels totally alone. So the last week or so I kept trying to help. I have depression as well, so I tried helping the best I could. Plus he helped me out so much when i was going through my deal. He was at his worse last night, so I ended up talking to him for almost two hours. But I told him I was going to watch a movie with my fiance since I got the feeling he was feeling a little better. I told him however that I would try to check my phone through the night and to message me if he needs to regardless of the time... I've been there before...

So I ended up falling asleep pretty hard and so did my fiance. I was far more tired than I thought. I woke up to find he had messaged me that he has deleted all his contacts and everyone off his social media but me, since he said I'm the only one that cares. He posted all this stuff about wanting to die... Well since I was out, I didn't see these messages and three hours later he deleted me also and said screw it, and that he wants no one to talk to him and that this is it...

Now I feel horrible because I told him to message me and I ended up sleeping the whole night... I've been really busy lately so I've been really tired. But now he won't talk to me, blocked me from his account, and won't reply to his messages. I've tried getting a hold of his friends and they too said he wants no one around, and that he's acting like he's lost his mind. So I'm at a loss. .. I feel like I failed him as I was his last resort for someone to talk to and I totally have a bad feeling... I'm not sure what to do next. :(
 

OhioTC18

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
Angel, you've done what you can. Is he seeking any medical help for his depression?
 

Angelface

New member
Angel, you've done what you can. Is he seeking any medical help for his depression?

He hasn't said anything, but by the way he's talking and acting. I am sure he isn't... He did finally respond to me however and said to just leave him a lone and don't talk to him anymore and that he is not the same person I knew.

To be honest, that kinda hurts. :(
 

Danang Sailor

nullius in verba
GOLD Site Supporter
That's what I get for having to much of a heart for everyone.. it seems the more you care about people, the more you get hurt in the end. :(
There comes a time when you have to realize you can't save everyone from themselves; they'll eat you alive until you reach the point where you understand this and learn when to walk away and abandon the baggage they have loaded on your back. It took Dragonfly Lady and me a long time to reach this understanding but life has been much better since that point. We still care, and will help whenever we can, but when it's clear we're being used we cut our losses and walk away.

It's hard to do, and the first time you make the conscious decision to get out it feels as if you've betrayed someone, possibly yourself, but you soon notice the guilt is a self-actuated illusion and you actually feel better! I urge you to start honestly evaluating some of these relationships; the ones who basically "dump" their troubles on you but aren't there when you are in need aren't your friends and aren't worth your tears and anguish. You can't fix everyone else's problems and trying to do so only increases yours.

You're a wonderful, caring person, but it seems to me you are not taking proper care of the one person that needs it the most: that person who stares back at you in the mirror when you brush your teeth. Work on fixing your relationship with her first; everything else will get better after you and she become friends again.
 
Top