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  #41  
Old 12-05-2015, 04:28 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

It's past midnight and I just don't know if I am strong enough for this..... It just hurts soo bad. I was in love with him deeply and I got so much hurt again in life. What is it about me that makes them want to hurt me so much? ? I just feel so used and worthless.... I thought I was having everything I wanted in life and so quick it's gone. I wanted my kids to have a normal family life and not be sad or heartbroken. I wish I was prettier and smarter.. smart enough to never fall in love again...
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  #42  
Old 12-05-2015, 06:50 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Don't give up on love. You'll find your someone when you least expect it. I know it's hard but you will get through this

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  #43  
Old 12-05-2015, 07:25 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

I had to walk away from my first marriage and my young Daughter back in the early 1990's and all during major stuff going on in my life, it was the hardest thing i think i have ever chosen to do but it was the right thing to do, if i would not have had the strength and walked out i would have lost my sanity and never had met my Dear wife and had 3 amazing children with her.

I had no choice but to leave a daughter behind and slowly over the years i lost her forever,you don't have to do that bit thankfully, but what i have gained i really do believe is my true path in life.

You may think he was the love of your life as you know no different but like myself and Brian i am convinced you will find love and next time it will be true love.

A short time of pain will reward you with a life of loves gain.
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  #44  
Old 12-05-2015, 09:25 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galvatron View Post
I had to walk away from my first marriage and my young Daughter back in the early 1990's and all during major stuff going on in my life, it was the hardest thing i think i have ever chosen to do but it was the right thing to do, if i would not have had the strength and walked out i would have lost my sanity and never had met my Dear wife and had 3 amazing children with her.

I had no choice but to leave a daughter behind and slowly over the years i lost her forever,you don't have to do that bit thankfully, but what i have gained i really do believe is my true path in life.

You may think he was the love of your life as you know no different but like myself and Brian i am convinced you will find love and next time it will be true love.

A short time of pain will reward you with a life of loves gain.
I know that feeling as well. My first wife had a nine month old boy when we first got together. I raised him as my own. A few years later we had a son together. When I finally had enough and walked away, I kept the youngest boy with me but the oldest who was now ten years old was given the option of either going to live with his biodad or moving with the ex out to another province. He chose to live with his other dad. When His biodad and his new GF were partying and drugging it up almost every weekend Logan(the oldest boy) would escape that environment and come to my place to be with his brother. All the while his mother was 1500km's away having a great ole time with no responsibilities. Eventually I had enough of that as well as he would come over with his teenage attitude and threaten to call family services if I said or did anything. I ended up moving to the city with the youngest boy. The oldest stayed with his dad for a bit but eventually got into a fight with him as well and ended up moving out west with his mother. I'm just glad now that I kept my focus and did everything in my power to protect my son.

That is what you have to do now. Do everything in your power to protect those children. And don't get yourself into a rut saying that no one will ever want you with three children. My wife has 3 children from a previous marriage. I have a son as well from a previous marriage. We are a blended family and it works for us.
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  #45  
Old 12-05-2015, 10:50 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelface View Post
It's past midnight and I just don't know if I am strong enough for this..... It just hurts soo bad. I was in love with him deeply and I got so much hurt again in life. What is it about me that makes them want to hurt me so much? ? I just feel so used and worthless.... I thought I was having everything I wanted in life and so quick it's gone. I wanted my kids to have a normal family life and not be sad or heartbroken. I wish I was prettier and smarter.. smart enough to never fall in love again...
Stop thinking that right now. He is in your head.....that is how he wants you to feel. Take a deep breath and shake that off immediately. Determine not to think that and do it. Everyday you allow yourself to feel that way is a wasted day of your life. Stop it.
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  #46  
Old 12-05-2015, 11:05 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelface View Post
Thank you everyone. I am in the process of making all this happen... I am just really overwhelmed right now with emotions and everything else. My kids have been asking when is Daddy coming back home? are we having a family game night? This is so hard... I feel like I have failed them so much. I have not ate anything since last night and just crying all day. I found out he is in Idaho with a friend. His friend told me he is there, but he will not answer my texts or calls. Happy holidays right? I've had some close friends over for awhile and they have helped me a lot. I just need something to cope right now.. because I am feeling so weak and unstable. Anyone recommend a good movie to watch? I just want to lay here and hopefully fall asleep tonight..
I don't think you should be sending him texts or phone calls. Just get on with life, point your nose forward and don't look back.
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  #47  
Old 12-05-2015, 12:04 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimbo View Post
I don't think you should be sending him texts or phone calls. Just get on with life, point your nose forward and don't look back.
What he said.

Do not attempt to communicate with this awful man. He has nothing to offer you or your children, other than abuse and control.

Unless, of course, that's what you want. But I think you're stronger than that. Don't confuse it with "love".

Move on. Every day becomes less painful. Every day becomes easier.
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  #48  
Old 12-05-2015, 01:51 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

You all are so very supportive, thank you. Last night was just really hard, I hate that time the most. I am still so confused, hurt, tired... just so angry at myself to let myself be vulnerable and fall so in love with him. Everything seems so uncertain. Everything happened so fast and now it's really just sinking in... he left a text this morning say that he was sorry for all this and would do anything to make it better because he loves me. I told him to stay away from me. Then he started saying he has done nothing to justify all this and that im just being a insecure little girl. Ugh... I know I can't keep him from the kids, but right now I don't feel it's best he comes around. I know he will at some point. All his stuff including his work stuff is here.. I have no idea when he will just show up. I just don't want to be here.
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  #49  
Old 12-05-2015, 02:18 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Two words: restraining order.
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  #50  
Old 12-05-2015, 10:05 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelface View Post
You all are so very supportive, thank you. Last night was just really hard, I hate that time the most. I am still so confused, hurt, tired... just so angry at myself to let myself be vulnerable and fall so in love with him. Everything seems so uncertain. Everything happened so fast and now it's really just sinking in... he left a text this morning say that he was sorry for all this and would do anything to make it better because he loves me. I told him to stay away from me. Then he started saying he has done nothing to justify all this and that im just being a insecure little girl. Ugh... I know I can't keep him from the kids, but right now I don't feel it's best he comes around. I know he will at some point. All his stuff including his work stuff is here.. I have no idea when he will just show up. I just don't want to be here.
Remember what he said to you:
Quote:
he said good and was tired of me being a cunt and nothing but an ugly faced stupid psychotic bitch.
You don't want to live through this again. As others have said, change the locks, get a restraining order, etc. You need to be done with that low life. Bob
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  #51  
Old 12-06-2015, 06:39 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Right. If you allow him into your head he'll keep doing it over and over again then keep crawling back. He's obviously all about him and only wants you as his crutch. It's time he grows a set of balls and learns how to treat a lady. Any man who says something like that to a woman he supposedly loves is not a man in my books. You only get one shot at life. Don't live it in fear.

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  #52  
Old 12-06-2015, 06:48 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Angel if you need further advice and support in your new life i am up for giving that...if you go back to the abusive life then sadly i will not be able to offer that.

Make yourself and children proud....trust me you are worth it.
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  #53  
Old 12-06-2015, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Here ya go.

You'll be back with him in no time. Texting him? Seriously?

What did he call you?

He called his wife a "cunt".

Christ, I have never in my life ever called a woman a cunt. Even the most reviled bitch I ever hooked up with. Red head too.

Restraining order and papers of divorce. FINALIZE THE DEAL!
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  #54  
Old 12-06-2015, 11:05 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Oh no don't worry, it's done. He finally admitted to something that sealed it tonight. I am so shocked, I am embarrassed, and completely sick to my stomach. I honestly don't know how to hold myself together right now... I have my sis coming over and a few other friends so that will help. Because I am trying to find the strength to get three kids ready for tomorrow, and myself to find the ability to walk into work tomorrow... How the hell can someone do this!!!??? I feel like death inside and I can't get enough air.. I can't even get myself to post the worst part of it, because it's horrible. Really I mean god why..? why why why.. ugh I just don't know. I gave him everything I could and I trusted him with the most delicate feelings and he chewed me and spit me out without any care. This is so painful!!!! I feel so worthless and I hate him so much.... He even had the nerve to say I have to many issues and not to try calling him if I am going to cry suicide again, because he doesn't want to hear about it unless something actually happens... wow just wow.. I am not going down that route, but it really hurts to much to be awake right now. Thankfully I have family and friends coming over.. I am just so very very very overwhelmed right now.
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  #55  
Old 12-07-2015, 12:03 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

OK, I said I can't express opinions in this matter, But the suicide word caught my eye. If this is true you can't even contemplate it because you have 3 younguns depending on you to get them thru this. I hope I'm wrong and he was just blowing smoke. I agree w/ all the advice given here.
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  #56  
Old 12-07-2015, 12:55 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

He is doing everything that he can think of to keep you under his control. What a pitiful excuse for a human being. You have children to take care of. Do you really want him in their lives?

You have a good job and can take care of yourself and them. If he starts to get ugly a restraining order is just a piece of paper. Let the police know what is going on so that they will cruise by more often.

You are a very pretty lady and there is no reason why you can't find another person to be with you. Just be careful. Take your time and for the time being take care of yourself and your children.

It sounds like you have a good support system. My sister went through this. She is a Scorpio and was true to the sign. Her husband beat her down to the point that when I talked to her I did not recognize her voice on the phone. Thank God that Mom went back to see her and take over the situation. Do what my sister did and let your family and friends stand for you. They will be the wall of defense that you need while you heal.

Best of luck. We are here for you.
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  #57  
Old 12-07-2015, 01:25 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

The first problem you have seems to be self-loathing.
Why?
You are the mother of beautiful children, have a good job and friends and family surrounding you and supporting you.
None of us here are professional therapists, nor should you put much stock in the advice we give you other than taking it as good advice from internet forum friends.

You're a young and intelligent woman.
Realize that.
Don't allow anyone to make you think otherwise.
My advice to you is to first and foremost-STOP all communication with him.

Lean on your family members.
Don't look at any shit on Facebook that he may be posting.
Go to work tomorrow feeling you've turned a new page in your life for you and your kids.

If you love yourself and your kids enough, you'll get on this and do it soon.

I know I said I'd not express anything else here as the men are giving the better advice, but as a woman who is old enough to be your Mother, I think you should heed what I say.
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  #58  
Old 12-07-2015, 01:27 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

.. and as Leni said... good luck.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:01 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_girl View Post
The first problem you have seems to be self-loathing.
Why?
You are the mother of beautiful children, have a good job and friends and family surrounding you and supporting you.
None of us here are professional therapists, nor should you put much stock in the advice we give you other than taking it as good advice from internet forum friends.

You're a young and intelligent woman.
Realize that.
Don't allow anyone to make you think otherwise.
My advice to you is to first and foremost-STOP all communication with him.

Lean on your family members.
Don't look at any shit on Facebook that he may be posting.
Go to work tomorrow feeling you've turned a new page in your life for you and your kids.

If you love yourself and your kids enough, you'll get on this and do it soon.

I know I said I'd not express anything else here as the men are giving the better advice, but as a woman who is old enough to be your Mother, I think you should heed what I say.
Really good advice here!

Regards, Kirk
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  #60  
Old 12-07-2015, 09:12 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

While all of the advice that has been given is good advice. Much of it takes time. You need to prepare for a "Sneak Attack" First.

Empty any joint accounts today. You need the cash for you and your children. This will be his first strike, if he hasn't already done it.

New bank account, different bank Today. Please, this is for your children.
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