i've a slight issue

[luvs]

there is a way older guy that is showing beyond obvious signs of a crush on me. i have my blake, except i prefer to not involve my BF blake in my new friend's crush on me, so as to avoid male conflict. we'll drink together, & often, so-

he (my guy) need not get into guy-pms, so-- how can i very gently blow a guy off, sans being mean~ he is so kind to me; he buys me shots, & we chit-chat; we speak of food, we sing, 'cept he is plain too old & not my type, i have my blake
wink:, & he knows that. he so knows that one. his spirit speaks volumes; he's got that. as said, i have my blake. & guy is so beyond my type. his hair's balding & grey. my hair is jet-black & full. there is an obvious differentiation. i'm mid-30-s. he is not that.

[pirate_girl]

Simply tell him you're taken, because you are.

[Doc]

Originally Posted by luvs

how can i very gently blow a guy off

Oh my. I'm tongue tied.
Seriously, if I read the above right it sounds like he knows you are taken. If you make that clear then friends are still okay if you want. But, as a guy, I'd guess he's after more and thinks taken or not he has a chance. you might have to be real clear that no way in H does he stand a chance even if your BF was not in the picture. The old line you like him as a friend but it will never be more than that comes to mind. Be prepared to lose him as a friend though. Some times that's the way it will go.

[luvs]

Originally Posted by pirate_girl

Simply tell him you're taken, because you are.

i know, lollie; i have. he's not so very receptive. i said, plain & simple, as u said, 'i'm taken'.'
for some guys, that does not seem to matter. oh, well. i have my pals.

TY, doc; i jus' saw that. i fear not speaking my mind or of losing him as a pal if he is a jerk. us ladies, we kinda get immune to guys hitting on us when we're taken.

[Catavenger]

Unless you work with him or live by him, can't you just stop hanging out where he will be? Does he have your phone number or something? If so and he calls tell him you are with Blake, every thing you are with BLAKE! just keep hammering that and avoid him. Yep you may have to hurt his feelings but unless he is a psycho or something he will just have to deal with it and move on . . .

Yep that's my Dear Abby advice. Take it for what it's worth.

[ki0ho]

many look in the looking glass

[Angelface]

Originally Posted by Catavenger

Yep you may have to hurt his feelings but unless he is a psycho or something he will just have to deal with it and move on . . .

Yep that's my Dear Abby advice. Take it for what it's worth.

I was thinking the something similar. While yes it is flattering, the sooner you make your point and set your boundaries, the more it will be easier and the point stronger that you are happily involved with someone else and want nothing or no one to come between that. You would be surprised on how much now days people notice a finger with a wedding ring on it and still continue to show interest.

[Kane]

Some people might suggest that you use your head, not your heart, when making such an important decision. So, to put the matter in the most pragmatic light, you should choose your significant other based upon this one simple question:

Which man has the most money?












Just kidding ...




... or not.

[Angelface]

Originally Posted by Kane

Some people might suggest that you use your head, not your heart, when making such an important decision. So, to put the matter in the most pragmatic light, you should choose your significant other based upon this one simple question:

Which man has the most money?












Just kidding ...




... or not.

Or do you mean which one has money and which one has unemployment?

[Kane]

Originally Posted by Angelface

Or do you mean which one has money and which one has unemployment?

No. Which one has the most money, i.e., which one is an only child born to wealthy parents.

The choice is clear. Or not.

[Angelface]

Originally Posted by Kane

No. Which one has the most money, i.e., which one is an only child born to wealthy parents.

The choice is clear. Or not.

I would say not. I would never base a relationship on who has the most money. I know a lot of women think that way.. but I'd rather be with a poorer guy who is happier in life than with a miserable guy who justifies his life by status and with a big check. I might be missing your point here.. but what's worse than both is a man who has no desire to work at all and is just lazy.

[Kane]

Originally Posted by Angelface

I would say not. I would never base a relationship on who has the most money. I know a lot of women think that way.. but I'd rather be with a poorer guy who is happier in life than with a miserable guy who justifies his life by status and with a big check. I might be missing your point here.. but what's worse than both is a man who has no desire to work at all and is just lazy.

No, Angelface. I wasn't particularly serious about this.

OTOH ...

[Angelface]

Originally Posted by Kane

No, Angelface. I wasn't particularly serious about this.

OTOH ...

Okay, I didn't think you where for the most part lol

[jwstewar]

This is one of those circumstances, while you are saying one thing, I think your actions are saying another. By continuing to hang out with him and be the recipient of him buying you drinks, I think he is think he still has a shot. I think best if you would quit hanging out in a social level, at least quit accepting drinks and such from him.

[Toxic_Cupcakes]

Originally Posted by luvs

there is a way older guy that is showing beyond obvious signs of a crush on me. i have my blake, except i prefer to not involve my BF blake in my new friend's crush on me, so as to avoid male conflict. we'll drink together, & often, so-

he (my guy) need not get into guy-pms, so-- how can i very gently blow a guy off, sans being mean~ he is so kind to me; he buys me shots, & we chit-chat; we speak of food, we sing, 'cept he is plain too old & not my type, i have my blake
wink:, & he knows that. he so knows that one. his spirit speaks volumes; he's got that. as said, i have my blake. & guy is so beyond my type. his hair's balding & grey. my hair is jet-black & full. there is an obvious differentiation. i'm mid-30-s. he is not that.

This may sound cliché but i think you should just tell him you arn't interested, that you are seeing someone. If he keeps at it though that can be a rather bad sign and that is where you inform your lover.