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  #1  
Old 05-20-2015, 08:13 PM
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Default Letting my best friend go...

Okay you don't have to read all of this, I was just writing today... but feel free to comment!


After all these years growing up, we had so much fun and shared so many memories and never went a day without thinking about each other and seeing how each of us was doing. The shared hugs and the damp shoulders of previous tears. It would seem that only a end of the world event would stop our friendship.

But then he changed... he got the dream job he wanted and the income he striven for. He surrounded himself in material objects and held himself to a higher standard. Our conversations of our dreams and goals in life became of judging others of less fortune.

Now all he talks about is how much better he is than everyone else. How everyone below his income status is basically stupid and can't think for themselves. His new car, his new clothes... all to show in his mind to everyone else that he is better, smarter, and richer.

For some reason I don't know why, you still find a few hours of every other week to message me or stop by. But I feel pressured to not show any weakness and the ugly things you say about people hit barriers of disgust and understanding. I just mumble fake agreement.

He makes fun of those with mental illness... I don't tell him I have Bipolar disorder.

He makes fun of those who take medication and say it's false hope and a lazy excuse to face reality.... I don't tell him I take medication.

Makes fun of people who work at minimum wage jobs. Yet somehow I think that's a blessing that they have a job and are working.

Cracks jokes and laughs at people on food stamps, or can't pay all their bills. I don't tell him that sometimes I have as little as 40$ left in the bank at the end of the month.

Makes fun of women and calls them stupid whores when they fall for broken relationships or judges them for being with a guy who turns out to be a monster. It's as if he hints this at me because I have a child from another broken relationship.

I don't know why he still comes around me. I am no longer in his league of class. Sure we shared the same field of study and goals. But I changed because it didn't fit with what I actually wanted from life. I myself have grown and have many nice things that populations of people wish they had. But I do not take pride in them. I know they are material and nothing more and I never look at someone who has less. He forgets that he was once there, where we both where at one point.

Is it so wrong of me that deep down I wish he would lose it all? Of course it is... but would it do him some good for that ego? I think yes...
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  #2  
Old 05-20-2015, 08:45 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

No, I do not think it is wrong of you to feel that way.
From your avatar and posts I'm assuming you are a good bit younger than me and most here. Though you sound wise beyond your years, karma does have a way of coming around to everyone. You never know when or how but I do believe he will have a time in his life where things will not go as easy for him and maybe change drastically. Life has a way of doing that. Or, he might be wealthy still and finally realize there is so much more to life. Making fun of those not as fortunate as you is a very low class thing to do.
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  #3  
Old 05-20-2015, 11:47 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

All the money in the world won't buy you one more day here when your time is up.........

Those that figure that out early in life are the truly rich people...............
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Old 05-21-2015, 05:12 AM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

Money is a big personality changer and carries the risk of making people serious jerks,i am betting his flash car and lifestyle is mostly funded by the dreaded plastic in his wallet and in truth he owns very little more than the fake silk shirt on his back.

Clearly his views are from the new class of society he chooses to mingle with,sitting sipping cocktails whilst smudging the image of a worker on minimum wage is clearly bulging his ego to compensate for the lack of bulge in his pants.

I think he needs to be told that he should be more careful when offending people on his way up the ladder as he will more than likely have to go past them again on his way back down.

It sounds to me like the better person (you) has outgrown him, his credit card clearly gets declined when it come to buying your friendship and for that i
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Old 05-21-2015, 08:30 AM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

I think you need to say what you feel when your with him...

I think he needs you to ground him to what is, and isn't acceptable.

I mean you don't really like how he has changed, and your not telling him how this makes you feel. Don't let his money get in the way, let yourself be heard by him. If your friends for a long time, you can do this without changing that...

Right now you not being honest with him, and that is not good. Either he understands, or he doesn't, and if he does, your friendship will last much longer... If you care enough to share your feelings..

Just my thoughts. It is your life after all lol...

Regards, Kirk
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Old 05-21-2015, 10:00 AM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

i would say 'bye-bye' w/ my middle digits if i were in that situation.
you're a Mom & as i can see, a gentle person. he is emotionally stomping on you, & you deserve better. your tots see how he behaves, too. it's your responsibility to guide them properly, & letting them see/hear that is not proper guidance. sometimes, not being together w/ a person is better than being hurt in that manner. at day's end, you hafta choose. i think you already know that. to choose to hide illness from him-- woah. if a person judges me on my stuff- so be that. theycan find other pals & ppl to luv.

i take meds for panic & ocd,. i'm not weak-- i'm strong enough to say, 'i'm human. take me, or leave me.'
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Old 05-21-2015, 12:48 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

Sometimes you just have to let a friend go.....
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Old 05-21-2015, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

People grow. People change.

Sometimes for the better,

Sometimes not...



Remember the good and move on.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:32 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

Thank you everyone for all the replies and advice! It's clear what I need to do.. just doing it is the hard part. I hate confrontation and I'm always afraid to hurt someones feelings. It's easier to just avoid him til he gets the point.. but maybe that would just hurt him more in a state of confusion and make me look worse. He is stomping all over on me tho..like many have before. I wish I was a little stronger in this area.
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Old 05-22-2015, 07:18 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelface View Post
Thank you everyone for all the replies and advice! It's clear what I need to do.. just doing it is the hard part. I hate confrontation and I'm always afraid to hurt someones feelings. It's easier to just avoid him til he gets the point.. but maybe that would just hurt him more in a state of confusion and make me look worse. He is stomping all over on me tho..like many have before. I wish I was a little stronger in this area.
From my perspective, it's time to stop worrying about his feelings or hurting him, and start worrying about what is best for you. It's also time to stop worrying about yourself looking worse. That will happen or it won't. And in any event, that's his problem, not yours.

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Get on with your life.
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Old 05-22-2015, 10:08 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

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Originally Posted by jimbo View Post
From my perspective, it's time to stop worrying about his feelings or hurting him, and start worrying about what is best for you. It's also time to stop worrying about yourself looking worse. That will happen or it won't. And in any event, that's his problem, not yours.

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Get on with your life.
Amen to that! I sure think that you don't need that dude in your life.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:40 PM
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Default Re: Letting my best friend go...

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Amen to that! I sure think that you don't need that dude in your life.
Yep. No need to take a vote. Get away from this guy - NOW - and go find one that is less of a jerk. There's plenty of them out there, just waiting to come across a good woman.
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