NorthernRedneck

Yes. I'm not entirely convinced that it will be OK though since the thing is still draining so it's delaying the inevitable. Hope I'm wrong but I may still end up on the operating table.

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The drain hopefully comes out tomorrow. I'm still skeptical though. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Seems like it's been one thing after another since the accident. Once the liver and drain are dealt with the next issue is the hernia which is now the size of my fist. The longer I stand the more it pops out.

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Hope you have good luck tomorrow!

NorthernRedneck said:

The drain hopefully comes out tomorrow. I'm still skeptical though. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Seems like it's been one thing after another since the accident. Once the liver and drain are dealt with the next issue is the hernia which is now the size of my fist. The longer I stand the more it pops out.

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I bet ya by gosh by golly you're going to be just fine.

Brian i wish you all the best with the drain removal, you have come so far and just maybe this will be the start of the next steps in your recovery, i like so many here are so proud of you, yes you have your bad days but through the pain you still get your arse up each day and make each day worthy, you really do amaze me and i am sure one day all of the pain will just be a distant memory.

Your wife and children deserve respect also for all they have done through these difficult times, big hug from me to you all.

Thanks all. I'll admit that it gets very frustrating at times when I can't often predict how I'm feeling from one day to the next and whether I'll be able to walk run or just settle for crawling.

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I am used to crawling ...20 years of marriage does that to you

Lmao. Yes. I can relate

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We are quickly approaching the one year mark of the accident. I know I've come a long way and still have a good way to go before I consider myself healed enough to live a so called normal life.

With that being said I'll admit that I have been struggling lately. It's been a couple weeks now that every time I close my eyes even for a second I have flashbacks of being in that hospital bed in the intensive care unit barely able to move.

I remember the nurses putting a breathing mask on me and tying my hands to the bedrails so I couldn't take it off. I remember laying there having to go to the washroom for what felt like hours and ending up crapping myself because the nurses couldn't get there in time. I remember my mouth being so dry it felt like layers of skin were pealing off my tongue. I remember the first time trying to walk and only making it ten feet before nearly collapsing.

Then there's the other side of the coin when I close my eyes and picture that car slamming on its brakes. I imagine me flying over the handlebars into her car. Then being run over. That's where the memory of the accident itself ends. Next thing I know I'm waking up in icu two days later with my mother and my wife asking me if I knew where I was.

I kept asking how bad the bike was. The day after I got out of the hospital I had my wife bring me over to our friends house where the bike was sitting. I asked for a chair and sat there looking at the bike for what seemed like hours just staring and crying.

I also remember that first week after getting out of the hospital and going to church barely able to stand and struggling to breath due to the liter of fluid still on my lungs I remember walking 10 feet and collapsing from a lack of oxygen.

Now I know I've come a long way but looking forward I'm seeing another setback this fall with a surgery to repair the hernia. That alone is something difficult to deal with but when you factor in the constant back pain and loss of feeling in my legs and feet I get scared of what next winter will bring.

So it's been a long battle so far. And an emotional struggle as well.

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You have come a long way. Repairing the hernia is just another step along the way. Just think how much better you'll feel once it's been taken care. One less problem to deal with.

Brian you have come so far and it is only natural your having flash backs, you are so lucky to survive a high impact on a motorcycle sadly not all do just like Luis Salom who lost his life in free practice on Friday for the moto 2 race today, he was only 24 years old....i watched live as it unfolded and it broke my heart.

The hernia i know is a pain but once fixed your quality of life will be even better and you will move further forward in your recovery...i also have a hernia and mine is on my (lets be direct here) right spermicidal cord to the bollock....i have been told the procedure is risky due to the location and if and when the surgery happens i may end up off balance walking as i could(fucking hope not ) but could end up losing the testicle.

I entrust the people that are taking care of my health like i know you do....chin up buddy at least your balls are safe....for now

Lol. Yes. For now my balls are safe. When I get a flare up like yesterday I lose most feeling from the knees down. Thankfully it's not from the waist down. At least both heads still work.

Just frustrating adjusting to my new reality and not being able to do stuff I used to before the accident. The starter blew in the truck yesterday. It's sitting in the driveway now and I know that before the accident I would have it out of the truck already and a new one installed. Now, I may have to call a tow to get it hauled to a garage to pay them an hr labor what I used to be able to do in 15 minutes. Ugh. That's the part I'm struggling with. Having to be at the mercy of others. I hate it.

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Brian my kids love being at the mercy of me sadly i dont charge the going rate

Hang in there like my bollock is

NorthernRedneck said:

That's the part I'm struggling with. Having to be at the mercy of others. I hate it.

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Brian, all of us who have been independent most of our lives hate to turn over to others what we used to be able to do ourselves. Whether it's because of age or health though, everyone's time comes.

I have reached that time of my life as well. Much of the time I hate it, but there are times when I appreciate being able to write a check rather than doing the work myself.

Hang in there Brian - the best is yet to come. Bob

rlk said:

Brian, all of us who have been independent most of our lives hate to turn over to others what we used to be able to do ourselves. Whether it's because of age or health though, everyone's time comes.

I have reached that time of my life as well. Much of the time I hate it, but there are times when I appreciate being able to write a check rather than doing the work myself.

Hang in there Brian - the best is yet to come. Bob

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Bob, you are so right. As I fast approach 70-years old I realize that I'm not the stud that I used to be. I realize it but I don't usually admit it. These days I still do all the piddling things around the place, the minor projects, but for major projects, I break out the checkbook.

Actually, I may be a better supervisor than I ever was a worker. No, the reason that I always did so much of the work myself is that I got really tired of the shitty work most of these contractors did.

rlk said:

Brian, all of us who have been independent most of our lives hate to turn over to others what we used to be able to do ourselves. Whether it's because of age or health though, everyone's time comes.

I have reached that time of my life as well. Much of the time I hate it, but there are times when I appreciate being able to write a check rather than doing the work myself.

Hang in there Brian - the best is yet to come. Bob

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One day I was trying to mow my lawn and woke up face down (after having a seizure) on hot dirt. I decided soon after that that I should get a yardman.

Thanks guys. I know that we all have our battles to deal with. Sucks getting old and not being able to do the things we used to. I just pictured it happening when I'm in my 60s or 70s. Not at 39. Oh well. Guess I should get used to it eventually

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Just remember this Brian. You're on the right side of the grass.

That's what keeps me going. I could be a heck of allot worse and there are many people worse off.

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Leni said:

Just remember this Brian. You're on the right side of the grass.

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Leni, that's a classic. As long as you're looking at it from the green side, it ain't all bad!!!!!

That's what I keep telling myself.

I stumbled upon a deal this morning. Someone had a fancy back brace that normally cost close to 200 listed for sale barely used. I took a look and tried it on. What a difference. I picked it up for 20 and have been wearing it all day. My back says thank you. It's also got built in abdominal support which helps the hernia.


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$20 sounds like a GREAT deal.

Glad it is helping!

Jim

One year today.

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Man. A day you'll never forget. Seems like it has been a Loooonnnnnggggg year. I bet doubly long for you with all you've had to go through. Best wishes for a much better year this year.

Brian what a awful year you have been through but on the flip side you have done you and your family proud.

You have shown courage and never gave up, you do more most day's than many do, you Sir deserve praise of the highest level,you have shared every detail of your recovery and thanks for doing so as myself like many others can take the piss out of our good health and complain about in reality what is not a complaint.

Keep pushing and never give up on getting back to being 100% healthy Brian, and i would like to mention your Wife and family, they done good taking care of you.

Thanks guys. It's been one hell of a journey so far. Of course it's raining today so I'm sitting at home in pain once again. I don't want to sound like I'm whining about everything. Sucks being in pain all of the time. Physio keeps asking me on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad my pain is. On average it's about a 5. Starts out at about 3-4 when I wake up then shoots up to an 8 within a few minutes. Taking prescribed precocet helps keep the pain around a 5 throughout the day.

If I overdo it like trying to walk more than a block continously I pay for it as my legs cramp up and I lose feeling in my feet. As far as recovery goes, my physiotherapist is optomistic that I may only get to about 50-60% functional capacity compared to what I was at. We just did a scale test this week to establish where I am with recovery. Right now I'm probably about 30-40% capacity from where I was before the accident.

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I don't know if this was a sign or something. I had to go out earlier. I just happened to pass by the scene of the accident at exactly 12:10. That's the exact time one year ago I was laying there on the pavement with severe internal bleeding about to die. Anyways. Not to bring myself down, I looked at the shoulder of the road where there was a groundhog laying there dead having been hit by a vehicle. Not sure if that was a sign but I somehow felt relief that I survived when I could have just as easily not made it.

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So we may be getting somewhere in regards to the pain I'm feeling in the legs and feet. This isn't confirmed yet but all signs point to Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or CRPS for short. I had never heard of it before. It seems that it often occurs in patients who have experienced severe trauma to another part of the body. The nerves compensate and act up affecting either one or both of either the hands or feet.

Common signs of this are sudden cramping in the limb(s) accompanied by a numbing tingling sensation of the hands or in my case feet. Quite often the limb will swell and become reddish with a shinny tint to the skin. There isn't much known about it and even less on how to treat it other than what I'm already doing.




Notice the color difference in the toes. This was a couple separate incidents in which my feet were tingling so bad I could barely stand.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_regional_pain_syndrome

It sucks because I'll be feeling fine like today and start thinking to myself "Hey self.....you could probably go back to work if this is the only pain you feel ". Then it flares up without warning and I nearly lose control of my legs and feet. The burning gets so bad sometimes. This happened the other day as well. I felt alright at home so I went out to home Depot to pick up a few things. I got there and made it to the aisle where I needed to go. I began feeling the cramping in my legs so I turned around and made my way slowly back to the truck. I managed to haul my butt back into the drivers seat and waited for the pain to settle down before driving home. Talk about freaking depressing. It's a totally useless feeling knowing I'm only about 30% of where I was before the accident. [emoji22]

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These flare ups are really starting to piss me off. It was our foster child's birthday today so we had a swim party for her at a local pool. My first time in the pool since before getting the drain back in December. As soon as my feet hit the water my legs started cramping followed by losing feeling in my feet. What a feeling standing in water barely past the knees and collapsing from pain. I ended up sitting in the freaking kiddie pool for an hour till I could stand up enough to make it to the ladder and climb out. That was followed by a very slow shuffle with my cane across the pool deck to sit down again. Ugh.

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Just saw my family doc. His words exactly when I talked about when I go back to work......."you actually think you'll be able to go back to work? Your injuries are permanent. You'll be very lucky to ever work again." At least he doesn't sugarcoat it.

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