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Some Maybe, Fake News

Bamby

New member
An intercepted phone call:

Obama: "How's it going, dude?"

Putin: "Barack Barackovitch, to what to I owe pleasure?"

Obama: "I have idea, I mean, i-i-i-i- have a great idea to run by you."

Putin: "What idea? You have great idea, comrade Barack Barackovitch? Since when?"

Obama, "Vlad, how would you like to be dealing with a weak American President?"

Putin: "You mean like last eight years?"

Obama: "How would you like to be dealing with a weak American President for the next four years?"

Putin: "But Hillary lost election."

Obama: "I know that."

Putin: Ah, Barack Barakovitch, you are planning coup d'etat, putsch, make self President for life. Even Vladimir Vladimirovitch does not go that far."

Obama: "No, nothing like that. We discredit Trump so much that he cannot govern, and is always bargaining from a position of weakness."

Putin: "Just like you, comrade. But you tried that. You say he did not win majority, but electoral college give him majority. You blame deplorable racism, and made his supporters angry. You try to get electoral college to vote for Hillary. You failed."

Obama: "B-b-b-ut this one will work."

Putin: "I'm listening."

Obama: "We accuse you of hacking the election."

Putin: "But we did hack election. Hillary lost anyway."

Obama: "We get the CIA to say you hacked the election so that Trump would win."

Putin: "Why would Vladimir Vladimirovich do that? Hillary would be much easier to deal with. Why would Americans believe we want Trump to win?"

Obama: "Let us worry about what the Americans believe. Enough of them will believe it because they want to believe any excuse for Hillary losing. Besides, they are already mad at you for what you did in Ukraine and Syria.

Putin: "But you signed off on those, Barack Barackovitch."

Obama: "shhhh."

Putin: "I'm still listening"

Obama, "Of course you will deny it, but it will look like an act of war."

Putin: "Americans will demand that you do something. I hope you don't start nuclear war."

Obama: "And we will do something, a few sanctions, and we will expel your diplomats."

Putin: "Sanctions will hurt Russian economy. But, diplomats? Who needs diplomats when Western policy makers are stupid? How will that help us?"

Obama: "Trump will deny it."

Putin: "Of course Trump denies it. It's not truth. There is no evidence."

Obama: "Of course it's not true, but since when have you ever worried about the truth, dude?"

Putin: "Since when have you, Comrade Barack Barackovitch?"

Obama: "Good point. "

Putin: "I still don't understand how that helps. Trump will demand evidence. There is only evidence that we tried to help Hillary."

Obama: "We have secretly destroyed that evidence, we wiped the servers, and not with a cloth. We will do what we always do when we want to intimidate Republicans, we will first accuse them of racism, then we will say that the seriousness of the charge is more important than the nature of the evidence."

Putin: " I still don't see that helps Russians."

Obama: "If Trump keeps the sanctions on you, it will be the same as admitting that it's true. Our friends in the media will see to it. If he removes the sanctions, and lets the diplomats in, then it will look like he is in your pocket. Our friends in the press will see to it. "

Putin: "But his supporters will see right through that. They are not stupid as you think."

Obama: "They are not the target. Hillary's supporters, and mine are. They will be protesting and rioting and distracting so Trump can't get anything done, and the Republicans in Congress will be too scared to help him. They will think he is unpopular, and fear for their re-election. Trumps supporters will be mad at them and see to it that they are defeated in two years, and we will control Congress again. Who knows, maybe my supporters will demand that I stage that coup d'etat.

Putin: "Ambitious plan, comrade. But why would your supporters, who loved Soviet Union, suddenly turn against Russia? Besides, I think you underestimate Trump. I know him well. What makes you think you will succeed after all attempts to stop him have failed?

Obama: "Because, Comrade Vladimir Vladimirovitch, I am Barack Obama."

Putin: :yum::yum::yum::yum:
 
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