The U.S. Navy answers the question: "Why did the chicken cross the
road?"
Naval Education and Training Command (NAVEDTRA): The purpose is to
familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing
should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo
chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety
observer.
Special Forces Command (SEALS): The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle
to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve
maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at
night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.
Bureau of Naval Personnel (BUPERS): Due to the needs of the Navy, the
chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road.
This will be a 3-year unaccompanied tour and we promise to give the
chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be
required to do one road-crossing during its career, and this will not
affect its opportunities for future promotion.
Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA): Despite what you see on CNN, I can
neither confirm nor deny any fowl performing acts of transit.
Questions? Please see the SSO.
Naval Air Warfare Center (NAWC): This event will need confirmation; we
need to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather
conditions to confirm whether it can actually happen within the
parameters specified for chickens and the remote possibility that they
might cross thruways designated by some as roads.
Naval Surface Reserve Force (NAVSURFRESFOR): The chicken should log this
as a GCC sortie only if road-crossing qualified. The crossing updates
the chicken's 60-day road-crossing currency only if performed on a
Monday or Thursday or during a full moon. Instructor chickens may
update currency any time they observe another chicken cross the road.
Commander-in-Chief, U.S. Naval Forces, Europe (CINCUSNAVEUR): The
purpose is not important. What is important is that the chicken
remained under the OPCON of COMSIXTHFLEET and did not CHOP to the
theater on the other side of the road. Without CHOPing, the chicken was
able to achieve a seamless road-crossing with near perfect, real-time
in-transit visibility.
Theater Air Control Center (TACC): We need the road-crossing time and
the time the chicken becomes available for another crossing.
Naval Intelligence: What chicken?
Naval Air Systems Command (NAVAIRSYSCOM): The chicken was instructed to
hold short of the road. This road incursion incident was reported in a
Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please reemphasize that
chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.
Naval Sea Systems Command (NAVSEASYSCOM): Recent changes in technology,
coupled with today's multi-polar-strategic environment, have created new
challenges in the chicken's ability to cross the road. The chicken was
also faced with significant challenges to create and develop core
competencies required for this new environment.
NAVSEASYSCOM's Chicken Systems Program Office (MS400CSPO): In a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its physical distribution Strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) CSPO helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences
to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of
its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. The CSPS
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and retired chickens
along with MITRE consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
leverage their personal knowledge and capital, both tacit and explicit,
and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, mission-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified Mission Need Statement and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. The Chicken Systems
Program Office helped the chicken change to continue meeting its
mission. The actual crossing of the road has not occurred, however, due
to the number of action items still open from the meeting.
Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command (SPAWARSYSCOM): The SPAWAR
Program Office was unaware of the upgrade to the AN/B1RD configuration,
and continues to up port the development of the G005E(V) (GOOSE
relocation process.) As soon as approved drawings and ILS are in place,
SPAWAR will implement installation and checkout of the AN/B1RD as an
adjunct to IT-21.
road?"
Naval Education and Training Command (NAVEDTRA): The purpose is to
familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing
should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo
chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety
observer.
Special Forces Command (SEALS): The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle
to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve
maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at
night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.
Bureau of Naval Personnel (BUPERS): Due to the needs of the Navy, the
chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road.
This will be a 3-year unaccompanied tour and we promise to give the
chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be
required to do one road-crossing during its career, and this will not
affect its opportunities for future promotion.
Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA): Despite what you see on CNN, I can
neither confirm nor deny any fowl performing acts of transit.
Questions? Please see the SSO.
Naval Air Warfare Center (NAWC): This event will need confirmation; we
need to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather
conditions to confirm whether it can actually happen within the
parameters specified for chickens and the remote possibility that they
might cross thruways designated by some as roads.
Naval Surface Reserve Force (NAVSURFRESFOR): The chicken should log this
as a GCC sortie only if road-crossing qualified. The crossing updates
the chicken's 60-day road-crossing currency only if performed on a
Monday or Thursday or during a full moon. Instructor chickens may
update currency any time they observe another chicken cross the road.
Commander-in-Chief, U.S. Naval Forces, Europe (CINCUSNAVEUR): The
purpose is not important. What is important is that the chicken
remained under the OPCON of COMSIXTHFLEET and did not CHOP to the
theater on the other side of the road. Without CHOPing, the chicken was
able to achieve a seamless road-crossing with near perfect, real-time
in-transit visibility.
Theater Air Control Center (TACC): We need the road-crossing time and
the time the chicken becomes available for another crossing.
Naval Intelligence: What chicken?
Naval Air Systems Command (NAVAIRSYSCOM): The chicken was instructed to
hold short of the road. This road incursion incident was reported in a
Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please reemphasize that
chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.
Naval Sea Systems Command (NAVSEASYSCOM): Recent changes in technology,
coupled with today's multi-polar-strategic environment, have created new
challenges in the chicken's ability to cross the road. The chicken was
also faced with significant challenges to create and develop core
competencies required for this new environment.
NAVSEASYSCOM's Chicken Systems Program Office (MS400CSPO): In a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its physical distribution Strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) CSPO helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences
to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of
its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. The CSPS
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and retired chickens
along with MITRE consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
leverage their personal knowledge and capital, both tacit and explicit,
and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, mission-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified Mission Need Statement and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. The Chicken Systems
Program Office helped the chicken change to continue meeting its
mission. The actual crossing of the road has not occurred, however, due
to the number of action items still open from the meeting.
Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command (SPAWARSYSCOM): The SPAWAR
Program Office was unaware of the upgrade to the AN/B1RD configuration,
and continues to up port the development of the G005E(V) (GOOSE
relocation process.) As soon as approved drawings and ILS are in place,
SPAWAR will implement installation and checkout of the AN/B1RD as an
adjunct to IT-21.