Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN





Go Back   Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN > Off Topic Forums > Junkman's Corner

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:27 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Tidbits AKA Groaners

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow,

why the thing he predicted yesterday,
did not happen today.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:28 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Patient: Doctor I have a sore throat, I ache, and have a fever.

Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus.

Patient: Everyone in the office has it.

Doctor: Well then, maybe it’s a staff infection.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (04-07-2016)
  #3  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:29 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital?
It came out cordless!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:41 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

I was taught to respect my elders.
It's just getting harder to find them.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jimbo (11-15-2015), mla2ofus (11-15-2015)
  #5  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:43 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

A good laugh is like manure to a farmer,
it doesn't do any good until you spread it around.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
300 H and H (11-18-2015)
  #6  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:45 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:46 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

A man goes into B&Q and says, “I’d like to order 5,000 facing bricks.”

“Certainly” says the salesman, “Are they for a garage?”

“No” says the man; “They’re for a Bar-B-Q”

“Why do you need so many?” asks the salesman

“Well,” says the man “We live in a 3rd floor flat.”
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:47 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?

The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said
“fine for parking.”
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:48 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

A lady wasn't feeling well, so she went to the doctor.

Doctor asked if she ever had chicken pox?
Her reply: "No, but I have had chicken nuggets."
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-15-2015, 08:50 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just declare darkness the standard
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-17-2015, 09:19 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Gun Permit
Yesterday, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for home protection.

When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said,

"Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
300 H and H (11-18-2015), Leni (11-17-2015), ravcosales (10-25-2017), road squawker (11-19-2015), squerly (11-17-2015)
  #12  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:02 PM
rlk's Avatar
rlk rlk is offline
Bronze Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Apex, NC
Posts: 1,268
Thanks: 48
Thanked 151 Times in 70 Posts
rlk is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits

Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rlk For This Useful Post:
Doc  (11-19-2015)
  #13  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:03 PM
rlk's Avatar
rlk rlk is offline
Bronze Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Apex, NC
Posts: 1,268
Thanks: 48
Thanked 151 Times in 70 Posts
rlk is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits

The three biggest tragedies in a man's life:
Life sucks
Job sucks
Wife doesn't
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rlk For This Useful Post:
Doc  (11-19-2015)
  #14  
Old 11-19-2015, 06:40 PM
waybomb's Avatar
waybomb waybomb is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: South of the North Pole
Posts: 6,495
Thanks: 432
Thanked 1,390 Times in 618 Posts
waybomb will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

The average male has sex 89 times per year.
December is gonna be a great month.
__________________
Thanks Fred
NASA says I am not warming the globe, 24 cylinders at a time.
http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/waybomb/

I'd rather be burning gas up at an alarming rate in Plain Vanilla.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to waybomb For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (12-09-2015), Doc  (11-19-2015)
  #15  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:25 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Why didn't the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:27 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Nostalgia is not what it used to be.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:28 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

He who laughs last,
thinks slowest.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:30 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

A cannibal chief invited over another cannibal chief from a different tribe over for dinner. They sit down and eat the best meat.

After dinner, the visiting cannibal chief said, "Wow that was good! Your wife makes the best meat."
Then the other cannibal chief said, "Yeah, I'm gonna miss her..."
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:30 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

Mechanic, I couldn't repair your brakes,
so I made your horn louder.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 11-19-2015, 08:37 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 30,389
Thanks: 8,430
Thanked 7,053 Times in 3,039 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits

THE 12 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS
1. Clearly misunderstood
2. Exact estimate
3. Small crowd
4. Act naturally
5 . Found missing
6. Fully empty
7. Happily married
8. Genuine fake
9. Fuzzy logic
10. Second best
11. Hard water
12. Pretty ugly
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Net Tractor Talk + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tidbits waybomb Urban Legends, Snopes, Unconfirmed Emails Forum 0 05-30-2011 05:08 PM
Some interesting tidbits Cowboyjg Junkman's Corner 0 02-14-2009 07:59 AM
Todays Groaners.... #1 Junkman Jokes_Forum 3 12-07-2006 07:25 AM
tidbits from the South (USA) Doc Jokes_Forum 2 05-10-2006 08:23 PM





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:45 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2002 - 2017 www.ForumsForums.com