KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay(thru the closed windows), and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm ce rtain that's irrelevant.

Actually, it's a "bipartisan" attempt to discredit blondes.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

Did the store do a background check before they sold her the can of biscutts? I feel these cans of biscutts should be outlawed anywhere near a school. This could have happend while she was driving through a school ground. She "COULD" have lost control of the car and run it into the preschool classroom which could of had all of the 1st 2nd and 3 rd grade classes in it as well as all of the pre school children. They could of been having a talent contest. MY GOD! These things are so dangerous! These all need to be registered immediately! No one under the age of 21 should be allowed to purchase "biscutts" until thay have first taken a course on how to properly handle said biscutts and that course MUST be a minumum of 148 hours in length. Then they must prove they are actually capable of handling said cannisters of biscutts in a safe manner. Once they have proven they are capable of this then and only then shall they be allowed to apply for a permit to purchase biscutts. It should also be a Felony if you bring any cannister of any type of biscutts onto school or Frederal properties. Also each cannister must not contain more than 10 biscutts at any time. Each container must be marked with a disctintive serial number and the propellent must have "TAGGS" so as to beable to trace each biscutt in the event they are used in a crime against humanity. Each manufacturer must provide one spent biscutt from said container to the C.D.O.J.. You may NOT transport any cannisters of biscutts in your vehicle that are with in easy reach and your cannister of biscutts must be empty AND in a locked container. The Biscutts themselves must also be stored in a seperate and locked container not with in easy reach. These containers must be California Department of Justice (C.D.O.J.) approved for transporting said biscutts. You must not transport any biscutts that were purchased in another state. Transporting biscutts over the State line will also constitute a Felony punishable by a minumum of 3 years in a state prison and a fine of no less than 100,000 dollars. My fellow Californians I feel we must immediately pass this law to ensure the saftey of our children.

MY GOD we must act now. The well being of our children is at stake! Our future as a Nation is in jepeardy. We may already be to late. What have we done? What have we done.

bobpierce said:

Actually, it's a "bipartisan" attempt to discredit blondes.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

Click to expand...

Nope it was a Blonde Female and she was actually sitting in her boyfriends Kristi snowcat making BBBRRRR BRRRrr brrr sounds when the canister of Pilsberry biscutts exploded in her car. The window was down on her car and the back door to her boyfriends Kristi was wide open. The impact shocked her and she too felt her "Brains" comming out. When her botfriend came home from work at Honeywell in NM that day he found her holding the back of her head. when he checked her he found that it was indeed biscut dough and not her brains. Not that she had any to start with.

I yield to you on this. After all, who would know more about the story than the Pillsbury Dough Boy himself?!

bobpierce said:

I yield to you on this. After all, who would know more about the story than the Pillsbury Dough Boy himself?!

Click to expand...

Oh that was just mean. Mean.