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Perspective

BoneheadNW

BoneheadNW

New member
We just got back from San Diego Monday night. Was supposed to be the last time m;y kids got to see their "Popop" (Grandpa). Unfortunately, my Dad died on Friday, November 21st, before the kids could see him. Fortunately, I made it in time to be there with him at his side when he passed.

My Dad had been ill for over a year. By the time they found out he had lung cancer, it had already metastasized. A couple tries at chemo did nothing but put him in the hospital from the side effects. Knowing what I knew from being in the cancer field did nothing to prepare me for what my Dad went through. I guess I was lucky enough to see those things only as the words "grade 4 side effect" on a clinical report.

My Dad was always the macho one- never wanted to admit he was in discomfort or pain, even up to the end. My experience with my father's illness has given me a new perspective on life. Amazing how much time we waste worrying about chicken shit (poultry droppings, as my Dad would say).

The type of guy my Dad was- he would never want people to make a fuss about his passing- "Snap out of it!' or "Fah-get about it!" were some of his favorite sayings. Sorry Dad, I won't Fuh-get about it. Some things I just can't do like you.

Jay
 
thcri

thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
Jay,

Sorry to hear about your dad. My prayers will be with your family.


murph
 
NorthernRedneck

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Sorry for your loss. I know personally how hard it is to watch someone you love wither away from lung cancer. My grandfather went through that last year with the chemo and such but it was too late for treatments by the time they discovered it. Be strong and know that he isn't suffereing any longer. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Doc

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
Jay, what a tough year for you and your family. I understand part of what you are going through .... my dad was much the same. We lost him in 2002, and no, we never fah-get about it. Good men make that kind of impression on us.
Sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about it bringing things into perspective. My dads passing did the same for me.
 
pirate_girl

pirate_girl

legendary ⚓
GOLD Site Supporter
Hugs Bone!!
Be strong.. your words up there were beautiful.
Eternal rest to your Papa :)
 
Tractors4u

Tractors4u

Active member
Site Supporter
I watched my grandfather go through cancer and we lost him on Christmas Eve 1986. He fought and recovered and it came back. Of course everyone made a fuss and treated him as though he couldn't do anything for himself. I was a teenager at the time and we were sitting on the couch together and he started an impromptu arm wrestling match. I remembering him saying there is still a lot of man left in me. It gave me a whole perspective of him and how to treat people in that situation. Your dad sounds a lot like my grandfather. My condolences.
 
A

Av8r3400

Gone Flyin'
My condolences, Bone.

Maybe it was best that the kids didn't see him at the very end? Now, maybe they have better memories of him.
 
BigAl

BigAl

Gone But Not Forgotten
SUPER Site Supporter
Your dad sounded like a heck of a guy . Take what you learned from him and pay it forward . He'll always be right there with you ! You take care ....I'm sorry for you and the family's loss .
 
Erik

Erik

SelfBane
Site Supporter
prayers and condolences. Good that you were able to make it there in time.
 
S

Spiffy1

Huh?
SUPER Site Supporter
My condolences, Bone. Of course, "fuhget about it" doesn't mean you have to forget: just remember all the good times; perhaps not quite the same as having him here yet, but, unlike human bodies, memories can live forever.
 
E

EastTexFrank

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Sorry to hear about your loss Bone. It's tough. Mine passed a number of years ago but I still think about him. He was a good, good man.
 
OhioTC18

OhioTC18

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
Jay,
I lost my Dad the same way. I still think of him very often. He may have made some bad life choices for himself, but he was still my Dad and I loved him dearly.
Our thoughts are with you and your family right now.
 
American Woman

American Woman

New member
Site Supporter
As a daughter....I always had Daddy on a pedestal of strength. I watched him waste away with Cancer, and still didn't loose the respect of his strength I had for him. It was hard to watch, but I wouldn't have been anywhere else but there.
I'm sorry you had to loose your Dad.
Redneck and I will keep you and your family in our prayers.
 
BoneheadNW

BoneheadNW

New member
Thank you all for the kind words. They go a long way toward helping me through the waves of grief. Actually, I have been grieving for months as my Dad was not really my dad for the last few months of his life.

Like my father, probably because of my father, I have never been one for religion. I am Jewish and cherish my heritage, but my father always taught me to question authority of all kinds, do not take what someone says (doctor, rabbi, cop, etc) without putting it through the test first. Ironically, this experience of the last few months has made me more spiritual. I know that is natural in these times, but I can actually hear my father saying things through me sometimes. It is quite an interesting experience, to be watching a basketball game and all of a sudden, out of the blue, yell "PASS THE GOD DAMN BALL!". I never did that before!

Thanks again to all of you.

Bone
 
RedRocker

RedRocker

Active member
Sorry about your Dad Jay, been down that road too many times with the ones that went before me. Same thing took out both my folks.
 
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