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Doc
01-27-2007, 06:41 PM
The Computer Help Desk Phone log:

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
*******

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet.. it's still
on my desk... Sorry...
******

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
******

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates!!!
******

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't
find it...
******

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.........Thank you.
******

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
******

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

Doc
01-27-2007, 06:53 PM
A few more:

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
******

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
******

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
******

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
*******
**** And finally, but not least: ****

Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the little circle around it?

lilnixon
01-27-2007, 08:42 PM
Quote of the Week. " I was on the phone with the Helpdesk and she told me to run a dick scan and defrag. It must have worked, because I am able to connect"

California
01-27-2007, 09:25 PM
Computer Help Desk Phone log:... BTDT. Onsite is harder, you can't just promise to look up the answer and phone back.


Twit: I spilled coffee in my desk!!!
Me: Ok, get some napkins and wipe it up.

Twit: But I have a presentation to the boss right after lunch!!!
Me: Ok, let me finish my lunch then I'll come and help you.

Twit: But there was cream and sugar in it!!! And I put the desk in my laptop and it couldnt read it!!! so I tried the shared computers in the back by the printer!!! but the first one just made a knocking sound!!! and the second one could only see one file!!!, and it's not the one I need!!! !!! !!!!

I split the diskette enclosure and told her to go wash the platter in plenty of clear water, blot it a little, and bring it back. Meanwhile I split another diskette and when she returned, put her platter in that. Then she could read most of the file she needed, enough to print it and make the presentation.

I ordered a cleaning-diskette kit but still had to replace one of the three diskette drives she put that 'desk' into.


The role of pc guru was fun in the early days when you could show users how to do their work easier and they appreciated it. Then by the time everybody had one at home, the people who needed support were mostly the ones who shouldn't have been given a computer in the first place. And don't get me started on the Mac users who expect you to show them how to make it do everything the salesman said it could do - after the user (senior management) has had several hours training that they wouldn't send the lowly support staff to.