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Rusty Shackleford
07-21-2010, 02:31 PM
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your ******* frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

So he stayed home............
.........and, they lived happily ever after.

The End

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Big Dog
07-21-2010, 02:34 PM
Ah he's just pussy whipped ................ :yum:

muleman
07-21-2010, 02:38 PM
And Lithium has ruled ever since!:whistling::yum::yum::yum::yum:

Rusty Shackleford
07-21-2010, 02:43 PM
:yum::yum::yum::yum: i knew you would come back with that, you ol goat

lifesaver91958
08-23-2010, 12:53 AM
:yum::yum::yum::yum: Too Funny, Too Funny :yum::yum::yum::yum:

JEV
08-23-2010, 07:18 AM
Awwwwwwww...I thought it was a touching story. Do you have more stories like that to share with us????

Galvatron
08-23-2010, 07:40 AM
Thats so so wrong....i wear the pants in my house and if i want to go out i go....i just choose not to:yum::yum::yum:

Trakternut
08-23-2010, 01:33 PM
....i wear the pants in my house....

Trouble is, SHE tells you which pair to wear and keeps 'em under lock and key.....it USED to work until Galvi was spotted in his smalls heading to the local tavern.






Now the smalls are locked up too.

Rusty Shackleford
08-23-2010, 01:35 PM
Thats so so wrong....i wear HER pants in my house and if i want to go out i go....i just choose not to:yum::yum::yum:

no surprise here

Galvatron
08-23-2010, 02:30 PM
no surprise here

Your gonna pay big time Toss-Pot:hammer::hammer::hammer:

Rusty Shackleford
08-23-2010, 02:44 PM
Your gonna pay big time Toss-Pot:hammer::hammer::hammer:
bring it on, fluffy!!! :yum::yum::yum:

muleman
08-23-2010, 11:28 PM
You bunch of wimps! I don't need pants on to go out!:w00t2:

Rusty Shackleford
08-24-2010, 08:12 AM
:yum::yum::yum::yum: thats what i always say. but most places have damn dress codes :mad:

Galvatron
08-24-2010, 09:44 AM
bring it on, fluffy!!! :yum::yum::yum:

Knobsock....just remember....