View Full Version : signs youve had almost too much to drink

Rusty Shackleford
07-02-2010, 10:15 PM
- You lose arguments with inanimate objects. :neutral:

- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. :mellow:

- Job interfering with your drinking.

- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

- Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. :yum:

- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

- Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. :shifty:

- Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! :doh:

- You can focus better with one eye closed. :whistling:

- The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

- You fall off the floor... :clap:

- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. :yum:

- Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

- Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you :whistling:

- At AA meetings you begin: ''Hi, my name is... uh. :doh:

- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

- You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

- The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in... :clap: ok maybe :yum:

- You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women/Men.

- Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

- Roseanne looks good.

- Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass. :yum:

- That damned pink elephant followed me home again. :unsure:

- Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

- I'm as jober as a sudge.

- The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

- You wake up screaming ''TORO, TORO, TORO!'' in the middle of the night.:clap:

06-22-2011, 05:11 PM
You can't pick a rusty Furd out in the parking lot!:brows:

06-22-2011, 06:16 PM
I hope I never get drunk enough that Rosanne starts looking good

Or even average